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Not Gone

Its been ages. AGES.

Its been trying. Ive been off sick since January. Im aiming to be back in April.

I have Bipolar 2, and a new drug to try. 

Lets see shall we.


Posted by becca on March 20th, 2017 :: Filed under Life

4 days

This week sees me travelling Northbound for a training course in Doncaster.  It means that I am spending a week away from my baby (Who insists that she is not a baby, but a big girl) and my husband.  Husband I know is anxious about being a single dad for the week, not only does he have an active and wayward toddler to look after and manage, but also his job to manage as well.  I am sure he will be fine. I will miss both terribly, despite having Skype.  It’s just not the same.  Roll on the days until Friday!

In the meantime, I am sat in the Virgin 1st Class lounge, on my second cup of coffee (free) with WiFi access (free) and aircharge ports.  Not to mention free snacks too.  I have 4 days of learning ahead. I haven’t learnt in a classroom environment in a very long time.  This should be interesting.

It also means that I am getting some time to write.  After all, I have some free time, plus my muse has come for a visit. Currently, after some heavy editing, I am on 15,314 words. Only 35,000 more to go.  Maybe this year I will complete it during NaNoWriMo.  Who knows, stranger things have happened!


Posted by becca on October 3rd, 2016 :: Filed under Life,Writing

Black and White

Today brought me the letter from the psychiatrist following my appointment last month. 

I know what we discussed at the time but it’s something else to see it in black and white.  I’m not entirely sure how I feel right now. 

That said, it’s a start. After consulting with another psychiatrist they’re reconsidering whether part of my treatment will involve drugs, which now means a whole host of test so they can determine my baseline and be able to work out dosages if they decide they’re definitely needed. 

The also want to see The Husband to see what his experience of my moods is. Husband doesn’t like having to see doctors or visit hospitals at the best of times. 

Reminds me of 360 feedback to be honest. I wonder if there’s one for MH experiences. Hmmmmm. 


Posted by becca on September 3rd, 2016 :: Filed under Mental Health
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Dear Diary

My psychiatrist said it would be helpful to keep a journal to help plot my highs and lows and to see if we can discover what triggers them. In order to get a firm diagnosis they need a clearer picture of exactly how I am emotionally, and how frequently, how far it ranges. They said it will take between 12 and 18 months of evaluation. 

Not only will it involve my own record keeping but also psychotherapy and 1 to 1 meetings with a mental health professional and maybe some CBT.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m pleased that I’m getting the help now but I’m also absolutely annoyed that it’s taken 2 years to get to this point. And then potentially another 18 months to solidly confirm a diagnosis. 

It may be Cyclothemia Disorder, or it may be Bipolar type 2. Without any type of treatment it could have developed into Bipolar type 1, and an inpatient treatment programme as opposed to an outpatient one.

I suppose it’s better late than never… and I got to buy a pretty new journal notepad. And pens. 


Posted by becca on August 22nd, 2016 :: Filed under Mental Health
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1, 2, Many 

It’s been ages. Aaaaaaaaaages.

I’m still writing. I’m still waiting for a diagnosis; although I’m closer now than I was. We have 2 possibles, Cyclothemia and Bipolar 2 Disorder, as well as a care plan and monitoring plan to confirm a solid diagnosis. At least I’m not Jesus eh.

Work in progress. Very slow progress.


Posted by becca on August 18th, 2016 :: Filed under Mental Health,Writing
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Then there were Two

Good grief. It’s been 4 months. FOUR.
See what happens when life gets away from you?

I’m still working on my Divine Series. I have 3 titles, 2 plots and one manuscript in progress followed by Zero publishers.
However that’s been put on my back burner for now.
The Muse has taken me in a completely different direction with a girl called Liss. It’s a stand alone story and seems easy enough plot wise. Probably need to start looking at e-pub formatting and software.

Hmmmmm wonder if there’s a kick starter for authors?

I should probably charge my laptop tbh.


Posted by becca on June 2nd, 2016 :: Filed under Writing

The Muse

Back in October I decided to take part in National Novel Writing Month. I didn’t finish. Most people would be disappointed but I was elated. The book in my mind had started to form chapters.
For years characters and their lives strutted through my mind. Demanding my attention and when receiving it they shied away. Cheek.

In October my muse appeared and my ideas came to fruition. Despite life stresses and struggles. Anyone with a mental health illness knows how hard it can be to function day to day. Being able to push through that AND produce thousands of words with ideas for more is a triumph.

My muse slunk away when real life reared up.  CHRISTMAS.  It was approaching and my muse couldn’t compete.

She reappeared today and gave me a title for my 2nd book in the Acacia May series. A tad cheeky as book 1 is still untitled.

I’m glad she’s back!
Really glad.


Posted by becca on January 13th, 2016 :: Filed under Writing
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Bloody Leak

After a lovely, but cold, day, I got home to my husband saying that the washing machine had leaked and flooded our hallway. Our carpeted hallway.

Typical really, on New Years Day. Management Agents office is shut. I’ve emailed and left voicemails. Chances are at the earliest they’ll call back tomorrow. Or Monday.

So of course, we are trying to do the best we can to dry out the carpets. The fan has been going for a good 3 hours now. I’ve used towels to soak up the excess, and some microfibres cloths too. Which are a lot quicker to dry than towels.

When, BAM, an idea. A real eureka moment. Until the husband came into the hallway, with an amused “WTF” expression on his face.

There I was, laying a floor of Always Ultra Night time pads. On the carpet. To help soak up the water.

What?!

It’s not like I can use them, they’ve been sat unused in the bathroom for over 18 months (thanks allergens!) and the packs were opened, so not like I could donate them. Made sense.

They work like a charm! 

 

Makes me wonder what else I can use them for……


Posted by becca on January 1st, 2016 :: Filed under Allergies,Humour,Life,Productivity
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Toddler Reenactment

I have lost count the number of times I have watched Frozen. Emma watches it all the time. At least 3 times a week (the rest of the time is Ben and Hollys Little Kingdom)

Not only are we in the phase of watching and rewatching Frozen, but also the phase of role play and pretend imaginary play.

Which is how I found myself playing Elsa to Emmas Anna, complete with a Frozen medley.

It’s scary how much of the lines she knows; granted they’re a tad bastardised. 

Here’s a few gems.

“Come on Elsa, wake up. The sky’s awake so I’m awake!” Whilst flopping on me dramatically.

“Do you wanna build a snowman?” After knocking on the bathroom door a few times. 

Lying on the floor, legs in the air, clucking her tongue. 

“Mummy! You be Elsa, I be Anna!”

Oh to be almost 3 again. 

I’m reminded of when I was 8 or 9, and my cousins and I used to go swimming at the beach, or to the pool, and we would pretend to be mermaids. I specifically remember laying in the surf, on my back singing Part of Your World from the Little Mermaid, pretending to be Ariel.  

 

Being a child is magical. 


Posted by becca on December 21st, 2015 :: Filed under Emma,Life
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Countdown

Less than a week to Christmas!

I’ve still got a couple of gifts to wrap. Loads of Christmas films to watch. Three more days of work. One more visit to Santa.

Tomorrow we are off to visit Santa in his Victorian themed grotto near Canary Wharf. 

Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday I’m back to work. Then Thursday morning I have to go back to the GP for blood tests and then last minute prep before heading over to my mother-in-laws fo Christmas festivities. 

Christmas Day after stockings and presents, it’s off to brother-in-laws for more festivities and then it’s time to rest and digest on Boxing Day.

Then it’s off to my mums on the 27th, and back to mother-in-laws on the 28th. 

Then 6 days of rest before back to work.

Must remind myself once I’m back to work to book some annual leave for the new year! 


Posted by becca on December 19th, 2015 :: Filed under christmas
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