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Dear Diary

My psychiatrist said it would be helpful to keep a journal to help plot my highs and lows and to see if we can discover what triggers them. In order to get a firm diagnosis they need a clearer picture of exactly how I am emotionally, and how frequently, how far it ranges. They said it will take between 12 and 18 months of evaluation. 

Not only will it involve my own record keeping but also psychotherapy and 1 to 1 meetings with a mental health professional and maybe some CBT.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m pleased that I’m getting the help now but I’m also absolutely annoyed that it’s taken 2 years to get to this point. And then potentially another 18 months to solidly confirm a diagnosis. 

It may be Cyclothemia Disorder, or it may be Bipolar type 2. Without any type of treatment it could have developed into Bipolar type 1, and an inpatient treatment programme as opposed to an outpatient one.

I suppose it’s better late than never… and I got to buy a pretty new journal notepad. And pens. 


Posted by becca on August 22nd, 2016 :: Filed under Mental Health
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1, 2, Many 

It’s been ages. Aaaaaaaaaages.

I’m still writing. I’m still waiting for a diagnosis; although I’m closer now than I was. We have 2 possibles, Cyclothemia and Bipolar 2 Disorder, as well as a care plan and monitoring plan to confirm a solid diagnosis. At least I’m not Jesus eh.

Work in progress. Very slow progress.


Posted by becca on August 18th, 2016 :: Filed under Mental Health,Writing
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Then there were Two

Good grief. It’s been 4 months. FOUR.
See what happens when life gets away from you?

I’m still working on my Divine Series. I have 3 titles, 2 plots and one manuscript in progress followed by Zero publishers.
However that’s been put on my back burner for now.
The Muse has taken me in a completely different direction with a girl called Liss. It’s a stand alone story and seems easy enough plot wise. Probably need to start looking at e-pub formatting and software.

Hmmmmm wonder if there’s a kick starter for authors?

I should probably charge my laptop tbh.


Posted by becca on June 2nd, 2016 :: Filed under Writing

The Muse

Back in October I decided to take part in National Novel Writing Month. I didn’t finish. Most people would be disappointed but I was elated. The book in my mind had started to form chapters.
For years characters and their lives strutted through my mind. Demanding my attention and when receiving it they shied away. Cheek.

In October my muse appeared and my ideas came to fruition. Despite life stresses and struggles. Anyone with a mental health illness knows how hard it can be to function day to day. Being able to push through that AND produce thousands of words with ideas for more is a triumph.

My muse slunk away when real life reared up.  CHRISTMAS.  It was approaching and my muse couldn’t compete.

She reappeared today and gave me a title for my 2nd book in the Acacia May series. A tad cheeky as book 1 is still untitled.

I’m glad she’s back!
Really glad.


Posted by becca on January 13th, 2016 :: Filed under Writing
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Bloody Leak

After a lovely, but cold, day, I got home to my husband saying that the washing machine had leaked and flooded our hallway. Our carpeted hallway.

Typical really, on New Years Day. Management Agents office is shut. I’ve emailed and left voicemails. Chances are at the earliest they’ll call back tomorrow. Or Monday.

So of course, we are trying to do the best we can to dry out the carpets. The fan has been going for a good 3 hours now. I’ve used towels to soak up the excess, and some microfibres cloths too. Which are a lot quicker to dry than towels.

When, BAM, an idea. A real eureka moment. Until the husband came into the hallway, with an amused “WTF” expression on his face.

There I was, laying a floor of Always Ultra Night time pads. On the carpet. To help soak up the water.

What?!

It’s not like I can use them, they’ve been sat unused in the bathroom for over 18 months (thanks allergens!) and the packs were opened, so not like I could donate them. Made sense.

They work like a charm! 

 

Makes me wonder what else I can use them for……


Posted by becca on January 1st, 2016 :: Filed under Allergies,Humour,Life,Productivity
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Toddler Reenactment

I have lost count the number of times I have watched Frozen. Emma watches it all the time. At least 3 times a week (the rest of the time is Ben and Hollys Little Kingdom)

Not only are we in the phase of watching and rewatching Frozen, but also the phase of role play and pretend imaginary play.

Which is how I found myself playing Elsa to Emmas Anna, complete with a Frozen medley.

It’s scary how much of the lines she knows; granted they’re a tad bastardised. 

Here’s a few gems.

“Come on Elsa, wake up. The sky’s awake so I’m awake!” Whilst flopping on me dramatically.

“Do you wanna build a snowman?” After knocking on the bathroom door a few times. 

Lying on the floor, legs in the air, clucking her tongue. 

“Mummy! You be Elsa, I be Anna!”

Oh to be almost 3 again. 

I’m reminded of when I was 8 or 9, and my cousins and I used to go swimming at the beach, or to the pool, and we would pretend to be mermaids. I specifically remember laying in the surf, on my back singing Part of Your World from the Little Mermaid, pretending to be Ariel.  

 

Being a child is magical. 


Posted by becca on December 21st, 2015 :: Filed under Emma,Life
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Countdown

Less than a week to Christmas!

I’ve still got a couple of gifts to wrap. Loads of Christmas films to watch. Three more days of work. One more visit to Santa.

Tomorrow we are off to visit Santa in his Victorian themed grotto near Canary Wharf. 

Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday I’m back to work. Then Thursday morning I have to go back to the GP for blood tests and then last minute prep before heading over to my mother-in-laws fo Christmas festivities. 

Christmas Day after stockings and presents, it’s off to brother-in-laws for more festivities and then it’s time to rest and digest on Boxing Day.

Then it’s off to my mums on the 27th, and back to mother-in-laws on the 28th. 

Then 6 days of rest before back to work.

Must remind myself once I’m back to work to book some annual leave for the new year! 


Posted by becca on December 19th, 2015 :: Filed under christmas
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Hep Hep Hooray…

We moved in July, and have been pretty lax about sorting out a new GP service closer to home. 

Finally sorted it out this week, took all the forms in, ID, Proof of Address and Emma’s Red Book. Last step was for a Health Check. A human MOT if you like. Go through medical history, weight, height, blood pressure, etc. 

Got told things I already knew. Yep, I’m fat, so fat that my BMI (stupid system) reckons I should have died a week ago. I need to exercise more, eat less, and become skinny with a tiny BMI number. Yup. Well the health care guy didn’t say those exact words, but that was the gist. Apparently we should be going to the gym 4 times a week. Hmmmmmm. As if. 

He told me I should check my breasts daily. To be fair if notice if they were gone. HA! Sorry. Yep. I check them often. I know that if I find a lump then I need to get an exam done. 

Then came my urine sample. Thanks to my lovely pot of pee, I’m now having a series of tests for diabetes. Apparently my sample contained high traces of glucose. And showed I may have a UTI brewing.

So far, I’ve gone in relatively healthy (barring tonsillitis) and I’ve potentially got diabetes and a UTI.

Next thing I know, Daniel tells me Emma’s picked something up. I turn to see, and she sticks me in the side with a needle. I pull it out and take it off her. It’s a hypodermic needle, used. Emma gets checked over, is fine, gets a biscuit. Health care guy doesn’t seem concerned at all, that my kid has picked up a needle from the floor under my chair and stuck it in me. He puts it in the bin, the NORMAL waste bin.

Husband has his health check and I go to sit in the waiting room, with my various sample pots and paperwork for my diabetes lab work, and a HIV screening paperwork.

It’s bothering me now, so I tell the receptionist what happened, and a few moments later I’m in a room with the practice manager. 

Now I’m having to add a load of other tests to my blood draw appointment (for the HIV screening) as well as having a Hep A/ Hep B combined vaccination. 

It begs belief that someone can complete their GP registration and then come out with paperwork for god knows how many lab works to be done, and vaccinations. To be done on Christmas Eve no less. *sigh*

I also still have bloody tonsillitis. 

But at least my BP is good! 108/71.

Here’s to a Healthy 2016!


Posted by becca on December 16th, 2015 :: Filed under Health
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All She Wants For Christmas

Today we took our annual trip to Winter Wonderland. We’ve been every year for the last 5-6 years.

Since Emma arrived, every year we now visit Father Christmas. It’s definitely a tradition, and one I hope will carry on for a few years more.

 
This year Father Christmas asked Emma what she would like for Christmas. Last year she didn’t know many words. This year, she’s a gold medal conversationist.

She told him that she wanted Sandwiches (and daddy wanted sausages) and apparently she was the second child to ask for sandwiches for Christmas today. Kids are weird.

Inexpensive Christmas, a ham and cheese sandwich! Or maybe we will make it a festive one, with Turkey, stuffing and cranberry sauce.

Boxing Day sandwiches are the best. 


Posted by becca on December 14th, 2015 :: Filed under christmas,Emma
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Christmas Movies

Christmas Movies. You cannot have Christmas without these films, in my opinion. These also don’t include kids films! I’ll do that separate.

  

Die Hard.

The ULTIMATE christmas movie. “Now I have a machine gun. Ho Ho Ho.”
Die Hard 2

You can’t watch the first one, and then not the second one. “Ah, what the hell; its Christmas!”
Home Alone

It’s Home Alone, do I really need to say anymore? “You better come out and stop me!”
Home Alone 2

Its the second one, its the rule that you have to watch it! “Credit Card? You got it.”

 

Jingle All The Way

Its cheesy, therefore it’s great. “Its Turbo Time!”

 

The Santa Clause

Tim Curry, as Santa. “You’re fatter this year.”

 

The Santa Clause 2

Just watch it. “it’s the Mrs Clause”

 

Love Actually

Christmas Rom-Com, everyone needs one (or 4) of these at Christmas. “Yep, Solid gold shite, maestro”

 

The Nutcracker

Its a christmas classic with a beautiful soundtrack.

 

Meet Me In St Louis

Any Judy Garland fan knows that this is a great Christmas film. Watch It. “and I’m taking all my dolls, even the dead ones.”

 

National Lampoons Christmas Vacation.  

Hilarity at the Griswalds. “shitter was full”

 

Miracle on 34th Street

A classic! “we have a Santa!” *not an actual quote….
There are a lot more, plus probably some I’ve never even seen; but these ones are my go to films. 

 Let me know what your favourite christmas films are!

 


Posted by becca on December 3rd, 2015 :: Filed under christmas,films
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