Well it’s Alan and Tash’s Halloween party tonight, and I’m all excited.  I thought that I would go to Sainsbury’s at lunch, grab some lunch, get some drinks for tonight and to top it all off, get some cash back.

except….I heard the dreaded words.  the words you hate when your under 18 and trying to get away with purchasing alcohol.

Are you over 21?

So I said yes and quoted my date of birth at her.
The lady seemed to accept that and then she changed her mind.  "Oh" she says. "Can I see your ID?"
"I don’t carry ID to work" I reply.
"Oh" she says
So I look at her and explain (as you would to a 2 year old)
"I live and work in London, where there is no need for me to drive, therefore I do not have a drivers licence.  My passport is at home, as I don’t carry it around just for the sake of it.  It cost me £94 last time I did that, and I’m not really into having to spend another £94 if my bag is stolen."

Then she says ok, let me speak to my supervisor.  She calls over her supervisor, and explains the situation and the supervisor goes, "There is nothing I can do if she’s already asked you for ID".

so, please explain to me, why on earth did she call you over, if she already knew this.  What a bloody waste of time.  at this point I’m getting annoyed, as it is wasting my time, which is already diminishing by the second.  The cashier rings up my lunch and tells me it’s £4 something or other, to which I reply "actually, don’t bother." and walk out.

How infuriating.  Instead I went and got a bottle of wine from the Wine Merchants in my building and it’s a lovely bottle of red.  Which did cost me £16, but hey, it’s Sainsbury’s loss…

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Posted by becca on October 31st, 2007 :: Filed under Uncategorized

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And here is another one…

It is my intention in this brief, yet elucidating, essay to outline theserious flaws that make our most celebrated of fairy tale heroines unsuitable marriage material.

Cinderella
The most obvious character flaw in this fair maiden is that you would never be able to trust her. She lied about who she was in order to grab the attention of Prince Charming, revealing her true identity only when he declared his intention to marry his dance partner no matter what her origin. Love at first sight, if we are being totally honest, does not exist. With this in mind, it is fairly obvious that she is an extremely talented manipulator in order to snag the undying love of our hero in only one night. A talent like this is desirable in ones politician, not ones future wife and Queen.

Snow White
Whilst intelligence and the ability to cogitate in a logical fashion is, sadly, not high on most men’s list for desirable attributes in a future spouse, who would want to marry someone that stupid? I mean, my God, you’re living in a cottage in the middle of nowhere, where the only people you have seen in the last 6 months are the seven slightly odd men you live with and you don’t bat an eyelid when a frail old woman, who would not be capable of getting to your home in the forest – especiallywith her wares, turns up and offers to give you free samples. Who with half a brain cell is going to fall for that? Especially after those seven slightly odd men have warned you everyday for the last 6 months not to open the door, ’cause they only person likely to turn up at your door is the woman who has vowed to kill you. We can draw 2 conclusions from this. Either Snow is either severely mentally disabled or she is suicidal but can’t kill herself for religious reasons. Either way not good wife material.

The Princess and the Pea
A word of advice to any prince considering matrimonial relations to a womanlike this. If her skin is so sensitive that she can feel a pea through 20 mattresses, you will leave marks when you’re attempting to produce your heir. Be careful where you touch her and beware for comments and accusations of wife beating. Also, it is generally best to be wary of any woman who just turns up on your door stop soaking wet.

The Little Mermaid
I am of course not referring to the twee Disney Ariel. The little mermaid of myth and legend did not bag her prince. The little mermaid of myth and legend killed herself and turned into foam. Which is lucky for the prince, otherwise he would have spent his life with a woman so melodramatic she puts a soap writer to shame. Killing yourself because a man doesn’t reciprocate your feelings is a little over the top. Obviously no one ever told her there are plenty more fish in the sea.

Sleeping Beauty
Another candidate for the stupidest royal in history position. Although she had never seen a spinning wheel, it takes a pretty dense mind to think you operate any piece of technology by stabbing your finger down on the sharp pointy bit. Mind you can’t really blame her, she obviously didn’t come from very good stock. If the king and queen had been sensible they would have kept her by them and not destroyed all the spinning wheels. That way when she hit 4 or 5 they could have sat her down and explained that if she ever touched the sharp pointy bit she would die. Even the stupidest princess would avoid the infernal machine then. Don’t even get me started on the fairy godmothers and their gifts. Poor girl was doomed from the day of her christening. A sensible prince would avoid anyone from her line.

Beauty
Not a bad catch, all told. Her sisters may have been selfish and her father a bit of a cheapskate dunce who was willing to give up his daughter to save his own life, but she turned out pretty well. Deep enough to see past the beasts hideous appearance. Low maintenance (a kingdom won’t go bankrupt if your wife only wants a rose from you and not a country to be named after her). Brave and loving (although a smarter girl would have let her good for nothing father be slaughtered and then booted her sisters out the house). All in all the best choice for a spouse hunting prince.

Here ends the lesson.

May you live happily ever after.

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Posted by becca on October 30th, 2007 :: Filed under Uncategorized

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A few years ago, my dear friend Fruit and I, wrote some stuff. All about fairy tales and what not. Here’s a list of things we plan to write. It will be the new generation of fairy tales for small children.

Goldilocks and the three bears’ – bears use poisoned porridge as bait totrap and eat small girls. Goldilocks is a tough nosed investigator whocatches on to this and infiltrates the bear house to gather evidence,eventually killing mother bear and father bear in a violent shoot out. Babybear gets sent to a correctional facility.

The Little Red Hen- Hen is disgusted by the attitude of the other farmyardmembers and after baking her bread writes a best selling novel on the evilsof modern society, eventually she becomes the leader of a small communistcountry in South America.

The Three Little Pigs – First pig’s straw house is blown down byunseasonable storms caused by global warming. Second pigs stick house iseaten by giant African termites brought into this country with other illegalcontraband. Third pigs brick house is knocked down by wolf, who works forthe local council, as he didn’t obtain planning permission for his overlarge extension.

Rupunzel- Girl steals witches vegetables and gets sentenced to 5 years inthe tower. Due to parole system she is released in 6 months and gets herhair, which didn’t have time to reach her shoulders, trimmed. Returns toscene of crime and embarks on reign of terror against witch.

Chicken Little- Insane chicken terrorises neighbourhood with conspiracytheories on the government using falling acorns as a mind control technique.Gets committed and taken to a minimum-security mental asylum. Goes on akilling spree whilst being rehabilitated as part of the local care in thecommunity scheme, using an acorn as his murder weapon.

The Brave Little Tailor – Uses media reports of him having killed sevengiants, and not flies, with one blow to get elected to parliament. Marries aminor royal, divorces a year later and is publicly shamed when the truthcomes out about his exploits. Retires from politics and signs a 3mil bookdeal.

The Shoemaker and the Elves – Footwear magnate uses cheep elf labour to makeall his merchandise, hiding sweatshops under front of state of the artfactory. Is eventually exposed but people continue to by his products whenhe makes a half-hearted promise to improve working conditions.

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Posted by becca on October 30th, 2007 :: Filed under Uncategorized

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I just realised in my last blog, my last sentence came across really bitchy. which wasn’t my intention.

for the record and to set things straight. only Daniel read’s my blog. no one else that I am aware of.

I love him dearly. He’s so nice and sweet and kind and caring. and now i sound like a soppy love song. so i’ll shut up.

the point is, i didn’t intend to come across as bitchy.

over and out.

p.s. Masters, I love you.

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Posted by becca on October 29th, 2007 :: Filed under Uncategorized

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I am too tired to think of anything interesting to put in the title of this blog. trying to be creative blows sometimes.

you get all these good ideas, and then you go to get them all down, and actually produce something that is not a pile of crap, and then *POOF* it’s all bloody gone.

I think i might need to get a dictaphone, like a digital one or something….although would be very odd talking to yourself (well you wouldn’t be, you’d be talking into your machine, but other people would think you were talking to yourself) anyhoo, i digress. If i had a dictaphone, then when I got my idea’s, I could tell them to my dictaphone and then they wouldn’t be lost.

I get all sorts of creative idea’s on the train, walking home, etc etc. Like one I got a whole chapter out in my head, dialouge and everything. and then when it came to writing it down, it went *POOF*. and that was that.

this was the main reason I got my laptop, so I could sit down and spend countless hours writing, in the hopes that one day I could print off my manuscript, send it to a publishing house and presto, book deal signed, sealed, delivered, I’m an author…..that was nearly a year ago, and I have a basic plot outline, a crappy rough draft, and not enough hours spent working on it…..mainly because i spend too much time on facebook.

pah….. maybe i’ll post some of my stuff on here. people can read it (although who read’s my blog apart from Daniel?? no one)

anyhoo – about my day.
got up (on time for once) went to work. it was manic. nightmarishly busy. with only 3 of us in, and a workload for 6 it was a hard days graft.
got some pumpkin soup for lunch, which was fucking disgusting. i wouldn’t have given it to a starving ethiopian. it was rank. i binned that, and ended up eating tomorrow’s lunch that I had bought that morning and left in the fridge. so now I have to go out for lunch tomorrow. ho hum oppossums bum.

worked late. did a 10 hour day today. which is nuts. I swore months ago that I would never pull anything more than 8 hours a day.
**background – back in the day, I would spend no less than 10 hours a day at the office, sometimes 12, 5 days a week, that is a lot of time to be spending at the office**

came home and had dinner.

decided with Daniel, that the Late Edition on Thursday is way too late, and I would miss my last train, so have decided to give that a miss. oh well. Thursday instead of going shopping for toys, I am just going to come home and sort my bags out for the weekend.

Also I might do a Samhain ritual….although will have to go up to Mysteries and get some stuff, as I literally have nothing here. need to stock up on candles. and perhaps more incence. speaking of which I might put some on now! Also need some fabric, as I have to make an altar cloth.

it’s Witchfest International at the weekend, and Daniel and I are going to that. I am so excited, I can’t wait! I need to also get an athame….although I haven’t seen one I like. maybe I’ll see one at Witchfest….maybe.

righty-o time to go now. waffled enough…..well for nothing really….not like anyone reads this. apart from Daniel…

over and out.

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Posted by becca on October 29th, 2007 :: Filed under Uncategorized

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Well, I am better now. Which is great. Being ill was mot much fun. not fun at all!
I have a bit of a cough, but it’ll go in the next few days i’m sure.

Friday evening, I went over to see Daniel, who planned a surprise for me.
The surprise turned out to be dinner cooked just for me. It was amazing.
Chicken with onions, mushrooms and leek in a pie, with chips. I LOVED IT! It was absolutley delish!

Then Saturday, we watched Lost and relaxed and watched Saturday Kitchen and Saturday cooks. I love cooking shows on the telly. It’s so wicked. You get so hungry that you have to go and make something you’ve just seen so that you can eat it!
I made dinner for Daniel and I, which was Rigatoni with spicy chicken and tomato, which was a little too spicy, but I did only use 1 chili, and they weren’t even meant to be very spicy chili’s either.
Then we went to Vickie’s leaving drink. She’s off to Peru in the next fortnight, so we all went along for a drink. Was good fun. I found a drum in Whitton high street, but Daniel threw one part of it over a fence, so I left the rest of it on someones garden wall. Sophie saw it again this morning, so brought it back for me. I love Sophie. She’s so sweet!

Then today, I finished off my costume, and put it on, and went to get my boots from the cupboard, and they weren’t there. So I dug up the entire room, and landing and downstairs, and my boots are no where to be found. I’m very annoyed by this. I’ve had to buy a new pair of boots, which have cost me £85. Well, it’s cost mum £85, and I’ll have to give her the money on Wednesday, which is pay day. (already i’m broke and I haven’t even been bloody well paid yet!) Lets just hope the boots (which are due to arrive on Tuesday) actually fit, otherwise I am totally buggered. If they don’t arrive then I’ll have to go as Anita Blake. The guns are good to go, I’ll wear the guilty pleasures t-shirt, a pair or jeans, and my tan boots. but I really don’t want to go as Anita Blake. I’d have to scar my arms and everything. and I’d need a crucifix.
I hope the boots fit. They’re nice boots too.
Lets see what happens. I bet that after I’ve worn the boots to Alan and Tash’s halloween party, my boots will turn up.
typical.

righty-o.

over and out.

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Posted by becca on October 28th, 2007 :: Filed under Uncategorized

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there is an old classic film on, with singing and dancing. I really love those films, but for some reason I just can’t get into it.

I hate being ill. it’s so awful. it is.
i think i might get back into bed.
and find something interesting to watch on the telly.

wonder if mummy will make me some soup??

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Posted by becca on October 25th, 2007 :: Filed under Uncategorized

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i want cake. but it’s probably not a good idea for me to eat cake.

but i really want it.

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Posted by becca on October 24th, 2007 :: Filed under Food

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Ok, so i’m ill. and it sucks.
It started on Saturday, I wasn’t feeling 100% and had a cough. On Sunday I felt awful, so Daniel took me to the Walk In Centre at Teddington Hospital. The Doctor listened to my chest, looked at my throat and said I had a chest and throat infection and prescribed me antibiotics.
I begin taking said medication, and still feeling grotty, continue to take the medication, because that’s what you’re supposed to do.

Yesterday I had really horrible stomach pain for most of the day, and it was awful, and then today they calmed down, until this afternoon when I was violently ill at work.
glutton for punishment (me) who should have taken time off work on Monday and Tuesday to concentrate on getting better, but didn’t, goes home. ill.

Walking to the train station to catch a train home I thought, shall I call the Doctor and see if I can get an appointment, so I picked up the phone (well dug my mobile out of my bag) and rang the surgery to see if I could get an appointment, fully expecting to be told no (as usual) or to come in and wait tomorrow morning but we can’t guarentee that you will see the doctor. They had a cancellation! woo! So I wasn’t going to be an idiot. I took it.

Saw the Doctor this evening, and the verdict is in.

i have a viral infection, I’ll have it for atleast another 7 days or so and the antibiotics I was taking was too high a dosage, hence the stomach cramps and vomiting. Doctors has lowered my dosage to only 2 tablets per day and told me to stay in bed and rest and drink lots of fluids with some pain killers.

I am not going to be a glutton for punishment any longer. If you want me tomorrow then I will be in bed, doing nothing but taking it easy.

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Posted by becca on October 24th, 2007 :: Filed under Uncategorized

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Posted by becca on October 23rd, 2007 :: Filed under Uncategorized

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