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T minus 1 day

This weekend my dear friends Oli & Sedj are getting hitched. In St Ives.
This is the view from my bed at the B&B. I’d say life is pretty sweet right now!

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Posted by becca on September 30th, 2011 :: Filed under Weddings
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Random Facts on a Monday Morn

A random tidbit for you on this grey Monday morning.
When I’m travelling I often make a point of seeking out any CCTV cameras and ensuring that I look directly at each one for at least 5 or 6 seconds.
Why?
Well it’s simple and a bit morose I suppose.
You know those news stories of people who are travelling home from work/nights out and they just don’t get there? Then shortly (or sometimes never) they turn up? Just, well, dead?

Well that’s why. If you watch the reports on the tv you never see the person look at the CCTV camera. If I look at the camera of every place I travel through and I go missing, then there’s 100% chance that they’ll know it’s me on the CCTV. Easy to trace last steps. Perhaps easier to locate me/my body.

Mind you, got forbid someone try to abduct me, cause I’d rip their eyes out. But it’s ok, cause it’s self defence right?

So yeah, Happy Monday y’all!


Posted by becca on September 26th, 2011 :: Filed under Uncategorized
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The Avitable Pledge

So yeah, I’m totally taking this, because Avitable is pure awesomesauce on awesome cake. To read the original post by Avitable, click HERE.

 

So here’s my pledge, will you make it too?

 

I am proud to have higher brain functions.  I will apply critical thinking and react with clear thought when I am faced with unknown, stressful or difficult situations.

I pledge to view ignorance and anonymity as weaknesses.  Those who wield those traits as weapons are to be pitied but they have earned whatever punishment occurs. They do not deserve our sympathy or respect.

I believe that there is no situation that cannot be approached with a sense of humor. That said, each person has at least one thing that they will never find funny or appreciate, and that’s okay.

I stand up against bullying and harassment in all its forms.  I will not shy away from calling out bullies and harassers in public forums, and I will not tacitly support their actions by remaining silent.

I refuse to apply any standards to others that I will not apply to myself.  Only by striving to be the best can I expect that from any other person.

I want to see your point of view.  Putting myself in your shoes can be difficult, but I will try my hardest to realize that my perspective is rarely objective.

I affirm that I will be honest with you and trust you at your word.  If at all possible I will avoid lying and omitting truths.  There is never a good reason to lie and there are hundreds of reasons not to.  If you lie to me and betray that trust, that’s not my fault.


Posted by becca on September 19th, 2011 :: Filed under Blogging
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Flamsiversary

So tomorrow Flams and I will have been married for 2 years.

Last year (the 1st anniversary) was his to plan and this year it’s mine. Now it’s no secret that I like to cook, so tonight we’re having a pre-anniversary dinner. Lovely roasted chicken, with roasted new potatoes, stuffing and veggies. I spent the majority of this afternoon searching the supermarkets for a dessert (and shopping for a toilet seat…), with no luck (managed to get a toilet seat!). SO I decided to make my own. White chocolate and strawberry cheesecake. Pictures and recipe to follow.

Tomorrow I am cooking what is one of Flams’ favourite meals, spicy BBQ chicken with rice and coleslaw, followed by probably more cheesecake, cause there’s no way we will be able to finish this monster cheesecake I am making.

Then Wednesday is the gift day. Wednesdays’ plan is a visit to one of the Southbanks many restaurants followed by a night at the Royal Festival Hall, to watch/listen to one of his favourite bands, 65daysofstatic.

I think it’s a good present. A good wife I clearly am.


Posted by becca on September 18th, 2011 :: Filed under The Husband
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Snip Snip Snip

Today I decided I needed to get my hair cut. I last had my hair cut in 2010, so it REALLY REALLY needed to be cut.

Luckily I remembered that I had a 1/2 price voucher for my favourite salon.

So I called up, made an appointment and headed off to sort my locks out.

I got to the salon and was greeted by a lovely smiling lady, she settled me in and got me an orange juice. I proceeded to sit and wait for my stylist (Anthony) when this woman came up to me and said “Hi Emma, I’m June”. My mind did a bit of a back flip trying to think if perhaps Anthony had had a sex change since this morning and changed his name to June, instead, I smiled and responded “Hi June, I’m Becca, nice to meet you”. June quickly recovered and asked the woman next me if she was Emma, turns out she was. I never took myself for an Emma.  I’ve been called Nicola, Natalie and Rachel and even Nigel, but never Emma.

Eventually Anthony came over to me and said hello and got me settled in to discuss what I wanted doing. We made a plan and I headed over to get my hair washed.

Personally I think having your hair washed, conditioned and your scalp massaged at the hair salon is one of life’s finer things. I am seriously considering making a demand that my husband train to be one of the hair washers at a salon so he can wash and massage my hair on a weekly basis. Somehow I think his reply to my demand will be along the lines of “you can just fuck right off darling”.

There is something to be said for having a strange man massage your head though. It is SO relaxing.

To my disappointment the hair washing and massaging comes to an end and it’s time to cut my hair. 30 minutes later my hair is cut, dried and styled and I’ve handed over my 1/2 off voucher and paid.

Isn’t it fabulous the way your hair smells and feels once it’s been given the salon treatment? It’s so light and clean and nice.

I leave the salon minus 4 inches of hair, and probably won’t be back until sometime in 2012.

I really must take better care of my hair, if only to go and have it washed and massaged.


Posted by becca on September 16th, 2011 :: Filed under Hair
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MrsFlams does a Video Blog

Well, I decided to try my hand at video-blogging.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FI5tkKWWaQc]


Posted by becca on September 13th, 2011 :: Filed under Video-Blogging
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Dear John

Dear John,

Today I attended your funeral. For the last 2 weeks I haven’t really believed that you were gone. I didn’t cry, in fact I was just numb and disbelieving. I placed the small bouquet of flowers by your memorial tag outside the chapel, still not really believing. Part of my brain expected you to come up beside me and say “hi girl, what’s going on?” But that didn’t happen.

Today I cried for the 1st time in 2 weeks. It only became real when I saw the hearse carrying your coffin. I tried to stop the tears, blinking them away, but still they came.

I sat at the back of the chapel and composed myself. I didn’t sing along or pray with the priest, because as you know I am not a Christian, I simply followed the words in the leather-bound green book. You knew I was a Wiccan and instead I said a blessing for you John, asking the Goddess to guide you, to give you peace and happiness, and I asked that for everyone missing you and mourning you that the Goddess give them peace and healing.

I remembered my memories of you, of our conversations and the last words you ever said to me, which were “good luck sweetheart”. I never expected that I wouldn’t be seeing you again, not in this lifetime anyway. I remembered getting chinese during one break at work and whilst we waiting we both salivated over the wines in the wine cabinet in the restaurant. We talked about our favourite wines, and food and music and occasionally work (but not very often!) We had planned to go wine tasting at Vinopolis, but that won’t happen now.

When everyone filed out of the chapel, I watched my colleagues pay their respects to you by touching your coffin as if they were patting you on the back at the end of an evening out. Being right at the back of the chapel, I was one of the last to leave.  I stood by your coffin, I touched it and then I believed that you were gone and you weren’t going to be coming back. I let my tears flow. Part of me looked at the 2 pictures your family had placed on your coffin and wondered why they hadn’t used the photo that you’d made on Photoshop, the one where you photo-shopped your face onto 007′s body. It was seamlessly done and one of my favourite photos. We used to laugh about it.

I noticed that when everyone was leaving the chapel, it was raining. It must have started during your service, because when we went into the chapel there wasn’t a rain cloud in the sky. It was if the goddess felt my sorrow and shed her own tears. Within moments of everyone leaving the chapel, the rain stopped.

Today was very sad for me, as no doubt it was for everyone that cared about you. It’ll take a while for me to understand your death, and if I’m honest, I’m not even sure that I’ll totally understand it anyway. Death is cruel, but it is love that makes it cruel. Without love we wouldn’t feel despair and heartfelt sorrow when someone passes away. I’ll never forget you John.

The next glass of red wine I have will be in your memory.

In Love & Light,

Blessed Be John, Rest In Peace.

 


Posted by becca on September 13th, 2011 :: Filed under death

Twenty, twenty, twenty four hours ago, I wanna be sedated.

Back in 2005 I had my top 2 wisdom teeth removed whilst under sedation. I went to the hospital, they inserted a cannula into the back of my right hand, flushed some saline through and then let the drugs seep into my vein. It was icy cold and I began to feel woozy and so damn relaxed.

About 5 minutes later I was sitting in a chair with my mouth stuffed with cotton wool and feeling like I could sleep for ages.
The dentist said to me “how long do you think it’s been?”
I replied “afouff fen fiffutes?”
The dentist laughed and came back with “more like an hour and ten minutes”

I lost an hour under sedation! It was like the Hang Over but with no imitated tiger fucking, no stripper wedding, no crazy chinese drug dealers and no sunburnt groom on a roof. At least I don’t think so anyway. The only similarity was the missing teeth!

It was immense. Felt great but with a side effect of having not a clue! Slowly a few things came back to me, like they had a problem removing one of the teeth and it took 2 people to yank it out.

I always said that I’d never use drugs recreationally, but i would totally hit up some sedatives for the immense feeling! (it’s unlikely that I’d ever be able to though, sedation drugs aren’t on supermarket shelves and I sure ad hell don’t know any unsavoury characters!)

Fast forward to last April this year when I had the bottom 2 wisdom teeth removed. I was actually looking forward to it! Until the dental surgeon took one look in my mouth and said “they’re coming out under a general anaesthetic”

Now that is a whole different ball game and not nearly as much fun!

I know which one I’d do again if I had any more wisdom teeth that needed yanking!

Fast forward from April to last week. My best friend calls me and starts asking me what to expect as she’s having a wisdom tooth out under sedation. I didn’t lie one little bit. In fact I think my actual words were “don’t worry, you’ll love it”. Not exactly 5 words you would normally associate with dental surgery.

Together my best friend and myself have a great time which is often just long periods of laughter. No one makes me laugh as much as she does.

I said to her today (she has her tooth out this evening) “Kare, you know what would be fun?”
She started to laugh, her best friend sixth sense kicking in.

“if we both got sedated and filmed the resulting carnage. Not the amount they normally use mind you, just a fraction of that. I think the hit would be immense and the video of our antics after would be fucking hilarious”
I said all this in a serious voice whilst she pretty much laughed hysterically the more I talked.

We both laughed for a while at the thought of it, whilst her mother laughed in the background, then both agreed it was unlikely to ever happen.

Guess our next antics will only arrive once we’ve broken out the wine.


Posted by becca on September 7th, 2011 :: Filed under Dentistry
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partying bridal party

You may remember when I posted about the Hen Weekend I recently went on, and I said we went to a night club.

Turns out we had our picture taken by the club promoter and now we’re on their website.

Bloody brilliant.


Posted by becca on September 6th, 2011 :: Filed under Partying Brides
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The Bride and The Bruise

For optimum reading, before you carry on, if you have “I’ve Got a Feeling” by The Black Eyed Peas, put it on whilst reading this post. If you haven’t got it on your iTunes or Spotify, then you are totally missing out! Mazzeltov!

As I sit and type I am aware of that I suddenly feel hung-over. Except that last night I didn’t have THAT much to drink, or did I? I think I fell down a small hole/ditch at one point and I called a man a “rapey” sort, mainly because he came up to us and made a point of telling us that he wasn’t a rapist… because yeah, dude, that’s a great chat up line.

You see, it was Sedj’s Hen Weekend, and I travelled up to Oxford yesterday to be a hen for the weekend. It was just brilliant! In 3 weeks and 6 days (or 3 weeks and 15 days, or 16 days) the Doctor is getting married. StIves2011, here we come!

It started off at the train station, me carrying a huge suitcase (for one night) and 3 others jumping about excited. We headed off to find the first activity and meet up with the other hens.

We went extreme sporting, well I say we, more like I sat and watched laughed at the others being trapped in a giant hamster ball, all tied up in some sort of weird assless chaps & braces contraption harnesses and then flung down a hill. I can’t even go on a Merry-go-Round without barfing everywhere, much less throwing myself into some bizarre extreme sports and rolling down bumpy hills. I highly believe that this weekend would have been less of a success had I spent the afternoon ralphing all over everyone. All the hens should be grateful. No vomit was produced in the making of this weekend!

Aqua-sphereing and harness-sphereing looks like great fun and immense pain. I would consider trying aqua-sphereing next time, but I can’t guarantee that I won’t blow chunks on you.

This is Sedj all tied up.

Watching someone enter a Sphere is sort of a bizarre take on strange sex, it’s hilarious. Watching someone exit a Sphere after an Aqua Roll, could be compared to watching something be born, but with less blood. All in all, Sphereing is a life cycle, some thing goes in, spends time being carried about and then emerges all anew. The entire event wasn’t without its euphimisms. Some prefer to be tied up and others prefer to be wet.

After we had many laughs, we had a picnic. That was ace, because we were all starving! Who knew that watching people go rolling down hills would make me so hungry! The Bride to be, supporting her fantastic new chin bruise went all Disney princess on us.

We drank bubbly and ate like Queens, we took Group photos, we had LOLZ.

Then we headed back to our daytime re-treat to get reading for the evenings events! We drank more bubbly and typically 5 girls all getting ready, with only 1 shower, meant we ran late. Our taxi driver was having a shit fit and completely exaggerated how late we were. It seems men exaggerate about lots of things, how late us girls are for taxi’s, how big their schlongs are, the list goes on. We all looked fabulous. Sirens and Goddesses!

We headed out to a restaurant in Oxford called Branca where we met other Sirens and Goddesses, and we ate, we drank and we talked and we laughed and we played games. The Groom-to-be quoting Beyoncé as to why he asked Sedj to marry him, was priceless. Cause lets face it, when you like something that much, you’ve gotta put a ring on it!

The food was fabulous. Mixed plates of Mozzarella and Roasted Red Peppers, Beef Carpaccio and Rocket Salad, Italian Cured Meats, New Potatoes, Green Beans, Smoked Salmon and baby Spinach. Just amazing! Then a range of wood fired pizzas, and some amazing desserts. All washed down with yet MORE bubbly.

Then we headed out for cocktails. Bellini’s, Peach and Passionfruits, Lychee Martinis, you name it we had it! It was fabulous, like Sex and the City, without the sex and naked Kim Cattrall. The bar was called LoveJericho, and it was fabulous and PACKED.

Then we grabbed a couple of taxi’s and headed up to the O2 Academy for Propaganda and we danced, and drank some more and it was just immense and brilliant. We partied with the White Queen, The Queen of Hearts, a load of rabbits, a few transgender Alices, and the a couple of playing cards.

Grabbing a taxi home, we laughed and ate more pizza and drank more bubbly and eventually in the wee hours we slept.

I can’t wait for the wedding. The countdown begins!


Posted by becca on September 4th, 2011 :: Filed under Partying Brides
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