There is nothing more exciting to a new first time mama, than celebrating the upcoming birth of her baby with her friends and family.

I’ve always wanted to have a baby shower and my mother in law and 2 sister in laws, graciously helped me plan it.

There is nothing more disappointing than inviting 40 of your friends and female family members to it, only to have 8 people turn up.

I decided to set up the invitation via Facebook, 2 months before the shower. 10 people simply removed themselves from the event, didn’t bother to say “thank you but baby showers aren’t my thing / I can’t make it”.

Out of 22 people, 9 of them let me know in advance that they couldn’t make it. 13 didn’t bother responding (despite follow up messages) and 2 who initially said they were coming, just didn’t show up.

One person even accepted and then 6 weeks after accepting and saying yes, publicly said they hadn’t been told about it.

I’m not going to name and shame, you all know who you are. I’m disappointed but not surprised, I’m often let down, so it’s just one more event in my life where people I consider family and friends have let me down.

It seems that in pregnancy you find out who your real friends are. You make that announcement and people who haven’t spoken to you in years start sending your FB friend request and asking how you are. Whereas some other people completely ignore you.

Whilst I appreciate that others lead busy lives, and my pregnancy and upcoming new arrival is not as important to everyone else as it is to me and the Husband, the least you can do, as my friend, is to take 1 minute of your busy day/life to reply to me and say “sorry I can’t make it”.

It’s common courtesy and politeness when invited to a party/christening/shower/wedding/BBQ/other social event to at least inform the host if you will be attending or not.

I want to thank the 7 ladies (I was #8) who came today, with gifts and smiles and hugs. Thank you.

I want to thank my mother in law Ana for the baking treats and letting me use her home.

I want to thank my sister-in-law Sophie for helping with games and setting up and keeping the pooch and kitties occupied and out of the food, and letting me take over her home on her day off.

I want to thank my sister-in-law Tash for making the stunning cake and helping me do the food.

It’ll be interesting to see how many people come out of the woodwork when Flump arrives. How many want to see photos and visit and get newborn cuddles.

Please don’t expect me to show you the same courtesy as you’ve shown me.

What Doesn’t Kill You Makes You Stronger

It’s been 68 days since my grandad lost his battle with cancer. Life has gone on, grown a bit more and people have carried on with their lives.

I’m 33 weeks pregnant today and suddenly incredibly sad that my grandad won’t get to meet my Flump. I’m sad that the husbands grandad who passed away 4 1/2 years ago won’t get to meet our Flump.

I’m sad that so many people across the world are fighting this horrible disease. I’m sad that so many people have already lost their fight. It’s not fair.

Today my friend posted a video to a mutual friend who is battling cancer, she is also pregnant and due (like me) next month. I sent the same video to another friend of mine who is undergoing treatment.

I truly and honestly wish with all my heart that they win. That they stay strong and positive. That they kick cancers ass. They are both strong wonderful women. They deserve to win. Everyone with cancer deserves to win.

Don’t Touch Me!!

Yesterday I had my 32 week antenatal appointment. As my pregnancy is classed high risk, it means I have to see the Consultant Obstetrician every so often, as well as my own Midwife and my GP. Having to see 3 different practitioners makes for a very busy week every so often.

At every appointment (since 24 weeks) I’ve had my fundal height measured. This is to see if baby is growing properly. They say for every week of pregnancy you complete you grow 1cm. At the moment I’m measuring 33cm, so baby is a little ahead.

After they’ve finished taking your dimensions, they have a good feel. It’s not comfortable at all. I learnt very early in the game that Flump is very much a “stay out of my personal space” baby.

The very first time the Midwife tried to locate Flumps heartbeat she couldn’t. At that point Flump was small enough that he/she could flit about the womb and have to be chased. It happened at every single appointment. Without. Fail.

At 29 weeks after feeling no movement, I was sent to hospital to have a Fetal trace done.

A CTG is where you are monitored for uterine contractions, Fetal heartbeat and Fetal movement. After 20 minutes of being prodded trying to get a decent trace, I was examined, my results examined and it was determined baby was ok. But I paid for it for almost 3 days afterwards. Flump did not stop at all, he/she kicked, punched, wiggled, stretched, rolled, you name it, practically non stop.

Then yesterday the consultant had a really “good” feel of baby. Not only was the prodding uncomfortable for me, but the movement made by Flump whilst he/she was being prodded was unbelievable!

Have you ever seen a ferral cat be grabbed by a vet/animal welfare employee? Where they hold the cat by the back of the neck to get a hold on it and the cat basically freaks out as it doesn’t particularly like being handled? THAT was exactly what it felt like in my uterus, minus the claws. Flump does not like to be prodded and for the rest of yesterday afternoon and evening he/she was as grumpy as hell.

I can’t say I’m looking forward to my next 6 appointments, it’s going to be an uncomfy ride I think.

Absolutely amazing to think that despite baby still being all snug and warm that he/she has such a feisty little personality!

9 weeks & counting

I have 9 weeks (give or take) left of this pregnancy. It’s been hard, anyone who tells you that pregnancy is 100% joy and all that other rubbish is a bloody liar.

I’ve gone from feeling kicks and punches to feeling full on somersaults and rolls. I still get the odd kick and punch every now and again (like just now) but I also get what feels like Flump using the wall of my stomach as a treadmill to try and turn around with.

Gone are the hiccoughs, instead what I get is this weird little vibrating feeling, and at first I was all “Ohmygod! Is my baby having epileptic fits?!?” apparently not, it seems that baby’s nervous system is still developing and every so often baby twitches.

I get little feet in my ribs. Little knees sticking out of my tummy and little lumps forming all over the place. It’s still sinking in that there’s a baby in there.

With 12 weeks to go I was told, you’ll really start to put the weight on now. 3 weeks later with 9 weeks to go, I’m still weighting (ha!) (yeah I know you shouldn’t laugh at your own jokes but I’m pregnant so it’s allowed) (also, you better had laughed at that!)

I’m still 5kg below my pre-pregnancy weight. So far the Midwife and GP aren’t worried. I see the consultant on Tuesday, so will make sure they’re happy too. Most normal people put a bit of weight on, so it makes me anxious that I’ve not (also relieved as being chunky already means I could stand to lose about 40 pounds). Is my baby an ok weight, will he/she be too small? I’m going to ask for a growth scan to put my mind at rest. Whether ill get one or not is another story, but it can’t hurt to ask right?

So 9 weeks to go. Not long now I guess. Still so much to do!


It’s a boy! It’s a girl!

For quite a few weeks now I have started referring to Flump as “he”, despite that we’ve not had any confirmation on whether Flump is a boy or a girl.

Every time I refer to Flump as “him” or “he”, the Husband will often counteract with “her” or “she”.

My instinct is screaming out to me that Flump is a baby boy, yet the Husband is convinced we’re having a baby girl. One of us has to be right. Secretly I’m hoping its me so I can shout “in your face!” after the birth. Although let’s face it, ill probably be too tired and overwhelmed to shout that.

Very rarely will I have a small doubt that I’m wrong, and a part of me is like “why is Flump IS a girl and I’ve been calling her “him”?!?”
I hope I’m right, simply because I absolutely adore the name we’ve picked out for Flump should Flump be a boy, and no, I’m not telling what it is (the name that is). I equally love the girls name we’ve picked, but I think I love the boys name a little bit more.

Only 10 more week to go until we know!

Exciting stuff!

Bottoms Up!

28 weeks today, 12 weeks to go, give or take.

Thankfully after seeing the midwife today, she confirmed what I’d been suspecting all Christmas period. Flumps squirming, turning and wiggling means that he/she is now head down, bottom up and ready to start engaging. Unless of course he or she decides to turn around again. I’m hoping not, because its uncomfortable when they do that and then the doctors all decide they’re going to manipulate baby to turn FROM THE OUTSIDE. Ha.

I’d much rather sit in a warm bath with a bag of frozen peas on the top of my bump. (That seriously is a tip to get breech babies to turn!)

Baby is bottom up, measuring a week ahead of itself and I’m a happy Mama.

Apart from the itching. Oh god it’s awful. I’ve scratched my leg red raw and having to have a second blood draw for Obstetric Cholestasis. The first test done about a month ago was negative. I’m hoping this one is too. Otherwise it’s off to hospital for talks with doctors and medication to help with reducing the itching, and possibly a chance that ill be induced before my due date.

I don’t particularly want to be induced if I’m honest, because as far as I’m concerned the less hands up my hoohaa the better!

Anyway, 28 weeks down, 12 weeks to go.

Here’s hoping the 12 weeks don’t drag on.

Tiny ears

The pregnancy books all say that from 24 weeks your little ones internal ear bones are developing and your baby can hear and react to your voice.

I’ve noticed before that if I talk in a constant monologue to my bump (which is so strange) then eventually Flump does react and moves about as well as throw a few kicks and punches. It’s absolutely amazing.

This morning, whilst laying in bed, thinking of what I have to do today, the Husband has gotten up and showered and started to make bread rolls. The thought of fresh bread rolls with crispy bacon and fresh coffee sent my taste buds into overdrive and my stomach let out the loudest grumble ever, and a fraction of a second later Flump did a but of a jump/kick.
Hilarious and amazing.

I am so so looking forward to the Spring so I can smother Flump with cuddles and kisses.

Less than 14 weeks to go now. The countdown is on!

looking back

The Husband and I have been married for 3 years and almost 3 months. Flump is due in 15 weeks and lately I’ve been thinking that I want to put together a photo album for Flump. We’ve already got a wedding book and a “1st year” book, and we’ve started a baby book, but I really want to do a Before, During and Babies first photos book.  I thought I’d could start of with some pictures of the Husband and I before we got married, pictures of our wedding, photos of the scans, bump photos, and well, you get the gist of where I’m going with this right?

So this evening I spent some time looking through old photos, and I was looking at some of our wedding photos on the Husbands Flickr account, and a few stood out at me. Mainly because they’re rather hilarious.


The first one is a shot taken by the photographer of my Sister in law who was a bridesmaids and a friend who was one of the groomsmen. Every other bridesmaids and groomsman held on to each other until the end, not these two though. they both let go of each other as soon as they could. I don’t know why it makes me giggle, but it does.

bridesmaid and groomsman



Normally I love to be the centre of attention. Not at my own wedding apparently. I don’t think I could look anymore like a awkward douche really.

here comes the most awkwardest looking bride.



See the guy to the right of me? the one with the white rose in his lapel? That is my dad. Smug dad is smirking. It’s as if he’s saying, “ha! one down 3 more to get rid off! my job here is done”

smug dad is smug



Yeah, we didn’t write our own vows, we simply just took a few options from the venue’s guide and went with those. Despite the whole “repeat after me” section, I still managed to fuck them up, and in the process confuse the registrar and causing the whole lot to be restarted.

the one where i fuck up my vows



So, we’re all married and the Husband is all “right, what now?”. This photo cracks me up every time I see it.

what the fuck do I do now?!?



The photographer thought it’d be great to get all the groomsmen and Chris (who did a reading at the wedding) together for a photo opp. Personally i think this is the best photo ever. It’s like a boy band had a photo shoot and royally failed. From left to right, the Husband, the Best Man, Chris, Tilly-boy, Tom and Drew.  If the Husband opened his eyes any wider his eyeballs would fall out, Tilly-boy just looks mighty camp and Tom, well, god knows what kind of look he was going for?!?

boy band photo shoot, album cover fail.



I think Flump is going to get a kick out of all these photos when he/she is older. Poor kid.

Baby’s First Ears

When I was 2, my parents took me to Disney World. It was epic, so I’m told. To be honest, I don’t have many memories of it. I have photos though, of me with Cinderella, me with Cinderella’s mice, me with Chip and Dale, and Tigger, and Goofy, and well, you get the picture.

I was a Disney kid through and through. I watched all the films, countless times. I was a member of the Mickey Mouse Club, I did Mousercise!! To this day I still LOVE Disney.

From that trip, my parents got me a pair of Mouse ears. Those ears are now 26 years old. They’ve moved house with me, they’ve even moved countries with me. They are possibly the oldest thing I own, apart from myself.
This was me, aged 27, the mouse ears having reached their 25th birthday, and they STILL FIT.


My parents, are currently residing in the Cayman Islands. They took some friends there on vacation, and at the end of the month long vacation, they went to Disney World.

My mother called me this evening to tell me about her trip and that she’d bought the baby a present.
Flump is now the proud owner of a pair of Mickey Mouse ears, just like his/her mama. Who knew you could get Mouse ears for babies!!


When the parents get back in May, Flump will have Mouse ears just like Mama and we will be Disney kids together, much to Daddy’s dismay. Although he can’t complain, cause Marvel and Star Wars are owned by Disney now, so it’s not all lame.

I can’t wait to get a photo with us both wearing matching Mickey Mouse ears, Awkward Family Photo, here we come!!

eyes wide open…..or not.

Apparently within the next two weeks or so, Flump will be able to open his/her eyes whilst karate chopping swimming about the confines of my uterus.

Despite being around kids for practically my whole life, and watching every single episode of every single series of One Born Every Minute, I somehow got it into my head that babies don’t open their eyes until after a day or two of being born, much like kittens, puppies and other small mammals.

Yeah, I was wrong it seems. Babies are nothing like kittens and puppies. Less fur for one, and also less bodies to cope with. Some cats and dogs have litters of around 4 or more! I can’t imagine having to run around after 4 or more newborns (plus I only have 2 boobs!)  Plus with babies, you put a nappy on them and then just change it when the need arises, cats and dogs have to lick their babies bottoms to stimulate them and get them to go to the toilet, pretty sure that’s not acceptable behaviour in humans.

After learning all of this today, I’m glad I’m not a cat or dog, and that I’m only having 1 baby.

I also hope that the inside of my uterus isn’t too traumatic for Flump, because I can’t afford to pay for psychiatric treatment. That shit is expensive!