Self Portraits

It’s amazing how much you change as you grow.

6 weeks old









6 months old









Aged ONE!













I’m 4 years old!








5 and 1/2!!!!










aged 8







Sweet 16. more like Slavic criminal.







Halloween Parties are SO much more fun when you’re 19!

















looking pretty at 22










23, overlooking Djm el fna in Marrakech







24 in the South of France






Getting ready to be married at 25







27 and STILL a member of the Micky Mouse Club


You know that moment when you’ve been having a great time, you’ve been happy and it seems as though you’ve got a handle on your depression, so much that you say to your husband “next time I see the doctor for my meds review I’m going to ask to reduce my dosage” and then the next day your depression comes back and Sheldon Coopers you by saying “bazinga!” and does that funny little laugh?

Yeah. That.


Sometimes you experience moments that bring out a range of emotions. Anger, sadness, disbelief, rage, pity, upset, etc.
Something happens that makes you so angry that you cry in frustration. Or that you cry because it’s hurtful. Or you just cry because you’ve no other emotion left to feel.

There have been many of these moments in my life. Moments where I despaired, cried, raged, ranted in anger, expressed disbelief, or shook my head in pity, and even all done each one within a 15 minute timeframe!

Life is hard sometimes, but I’ve learnt that I am stronger than I think I am and indeed stronger than other people think I am.

“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”
Eleanor Roosevelt

This is one of my favourite quotes and to be honest it’s easier said than done. I’ve come across it so many times, but most memorable is from Joe in The Princess Diaries movie. Joe is a wise man, that said, so is Eleanor Roosevelt (a wise woman that is!).

Whilst searching for that quote, I came across this one. Another quote by Eleanor Roosevelt.

“A woman is like a tea bag – you can’t tell how strong she is until you put her in hot water.”

My point is that I’m not going to let these emotions rule me. I refuse to let people create these types of emotions in me. I am strong. I will be strong.

My kettle has boiled and I’m pouring the tea. I refuse to be weak. I refuse to be an inferior.

I am strong. I am successful.

I am me.

That Awkward Moment when…

Sometimes it’s like my life is filled with awkward moments.

Like right now.

I’ve arrived early for a private dinner party at a pub. The function room is full of random people. I’m on my own. So I’ve no one to watch my stuff so I can go get a drink. Not only do I feel awkward but I look awkward.

I’m sat in a pub on my own without a drink.

Awkward should have been my middle name.

Ahoy! Weekend Ahead!

I can’t remember the last time I had such a busy weekend. No, really, I can’t.
My weekends are normally spent lounging around my apartment, cooking, cleaning, reading, watching TV and spending copious amounts of my day on twitter.

Back in August I moved jobs, from shift work back into a Monday to Friday 9 – 5 job. I had my weekends free again and was so out of touch with having weekends free that I didn’t really embrace them. Instead I just did pretty much nothing.
I’ve had a few really busy weekends, but they’d been planned months in advance, things like weddings or parties etc. This weekend is going to be so busy.

Saturday morning will be spent tidying my home and trying to hide the numerous Christmas gifts that are currently littering my hallway.

After lunch, I have to go and meet friends so we can go and squee at the latest Twilight Saga film; Breaking Dawn Part 1. I can’t help it. I love the books and the films.

Supernatural Romance, Vampires, Faeries, Weres, Witches, Shapeshifters are my genre of choice and have been for a long time, and I doubt that will ever change.

I then have a group of fantastic women coming to my house (hence the earlier cleaning) for drinking, eating, and general laughs and conversation.

Sunday I get to meet one of my favourite authors. Kit Berry, author of the Stonewylde series. I am mega excited about this. Of all my favourite authors, Kit is the one author that interacts with her fans (me) the most on Twitter, followed by Yasmine Galenorn and Laurell K Hamilton. I will most likely try my hardest not to be an over-excited geek, but I suspect I will most likely fail.

Let me take this moment to tell you about Kit and her wonderful magical world of Stonewylde.

There will be five books in the Stonewylde Series; the final book is due to be published in 2012. The series started off as a Trilogy, but it carried on. The current book in the series is Shadows at Stonewylde (which I will be buying and getting signed on Sunday!) Kit started writing the stories for Stonewylde in 2003 following a strange encounter with a golden hair in the woods near her home. She went through 13 rejections before deciding to self-publish. In 2009 she decided to try and find another publisher to take on the Stonewylde series, so that she could continue writing, and here we are today. Stonewylde is published by Gollancz and can be purchased through the Stonewylde website, online bookstores such as Amazon and Waterstones, as well as many good bookshops around the world.
Stonewylde is an alternative community, hidden away in the heart of Dorset and ruled by the charismatic Magus. It’s a place of standing stones and earth energy. Within a great stone circle the eight pagan festivals are celebrated and ancient rites performed. The thirteen full moons are honoured and the people live natural and uncomplicated lives, as their ancestors have done for hundreds of years.* It’s a story about a young girl and her mother who move away from the modern world to Stonewylde, there are twists and turns, joy and happiness and sadness. It’s a series of magic and love and friendship, of nature and mystery. It’s addictive to read and you get sucked into Stonewylde and whisked away to another world. If you’re looking for a series to read, then I recommend Stonewylde.

I’m really looking forward to this weekend!

*taken from Kit Berry’s website

One Week Down

Today I completed my first week in my new job, and I must say that I rather enjoyed myself!

It was a busy week but it was still brilliant.
Excel is my new best friend so it seems. But only when it has pretty colours.

Next week is going to be even busier and I can’t wait to embrace it.

It’s possible that I’m mental. Most people complain about their jobs, I quite like mine.


New Beginnings

Today I started my new job, and it’s a welcome change from my last one. My last 2 days in the last role were horrendous. I’m glad for new opportunities and challenges.

I started off number crunching and turning my crunched digits into pretty spreadsheets, until I realised that what was sent to me had a few anomalies and now I have to clarify them. Hopefully I can clarify them tomorrow and actually finish the task at hand.
There are a LOT of numbers to crunch, and thank god for nice coffee is what I say. I’ve set myself a deadline for this Friday, so I’m hoping I’ll be sorted by then.

Currently I have no desk, so I’m borrowing others and it gave me a new blogging idea. To share my view with you. The plan (should I remember to embrace it everyday) is to seek out the window nearest to my desk and take a picture of this view and then to share it with you. There are some pretty awesome views from this building.

Tomorrow I have my first meeting. It’s more a sit back and take notes meeting but I’m cool with that.

It’s been awesome so far!

Look at me, I’m SO important…

Sometimes I sit back and I think to myself, am I really that important?
I mean, I’m just me, a regular (ish) person, who works, socialises and is just generally, well, me.

Yet I must be important, cause people have this thing where they HAVE to talk about me, usually behind my back and usually stuff that’s not true.

Come on people, share with me, what about me fascinates you so? So much that you have to discuss my life behind my back, that you have to make up lies and rumours about me. Does it thrill you? Do you get off on it? I’d honestly like to know. Is it the need for drama?

But the lies and rumours are interesting. Hey, did y’all know that I often consume great quantities of KFC bargain buckets? Yeah, apparently I do. Yum yum.
Because seriously, as if I could eat a whole bargain bucket on my own, sometimes I can barely eat a sandwich, much less 12 pieces of damn fried chicken!

If you’ve nothing better to do than spread gossip, rumours and lies about me as if I were some sort of B celeb, then clearly you need to get a life. Because let’s face it, I’m not really that important. I’m just regular ol’ me.


Have you ever stopped to think about how long you’ve been friends with your friends?

I don’t think of myself as old, after all I’m only 27 and that’s not very old at all. 95 is old. But when you look at your friendships and you realise how long you’ve had them then it really hits home.

My friend Sasha, I’ve been friends with her since I was 10. I am 27. That’s 17 years! Although we don’t live near enough to each other to visit on a regular basis, we keep in touch via email. She lives 7,000 odd miles away.

Then there’s my friend Angela and her sister Melody. We have been friends since I was 8. That’s 19 years!! Next year will be 20 years! 20!!!!! Saying you’ve had a friendship for 20 years absolutely astounds me. They live in Ohio and Colorado respectively, even further from London. I miss them dearly.

Toni, my first friend when I moved to London at the age of 12. 15 years ago. 15 years is a long time.

Then there is Kerry. We’ve been friends since we were 13. That 14 years. That’s more than half our lives.

Then there is Beth. I’ve been friend with Beth since I turned 18. Nearly 10 years. She’s one of my dearest friends.

These women have been my close friends for almost or more than half of my entire life and slowly but surely, over that time they have become more than my friends. They are family. They are my nearest and dearest.

There isn’t a day that goes by in my life as it is, that I don’t think of them.

Some of them are married, some have kids, some have bought houses, some have worked hard at their careers, but all of them have remained my friends and will do so until I die (which hopefully won’t be anytime soon!)

I can’t wait for the day when I can tell my kids/grand-kids about these women and how they’ve shaped my life and helped make me the woman I am today.

Girls, I love you all and I will be your friend always.