Up. Down. Round. Rinse and Repeat.

The last time I posted was September 11th. Over 2 months ago.

It was a post about PND, submitted by another mother. An absolutely lovely piece of writing.

I’d like to say I’ve been away, to somewhere fun and doing exciting things and letting life carry me away, but sadly that’s not the truth.

I’ve neglected my blog, my readers, my social media accounts, because of, well, illness. And of course life, because you know, work, toddler etc, it does keep one busy!

Physically, I’m fine, healthy almost (barring the many pounds I should be shedding) but mentally I am not.

Many people, who suffer from mental health illness often run dual lives. To the outside world they portray what they choose to show others, and then behind closed doors they present how they really feel. Sometimes the two overlap.

The stigma surrounding mental health contributes towards this. People projecting to the world how they think they should be seen to be feeling and not how they actually are feeling.

If you know me, then you may have noticed that I haven’t been myself, I may have snapped at you, jumped to conclusions, been rude or mean, disassociated myself, shown no interest and well I could go on and on and on…. I’m sorry, I’m working on it.

It is EXHAUSTING. I am exhausted.

For the next few months I’ll be in and out, posting occasionally, maybe not posting at all. Maybe posting a lot. Who knows.

Hopefully a correct (further) diagnosis and medication will help me on the right track.