It’s happening again. My creativity is constipated. My muse has buggered off on holiday and despite having several great ideas in my head, putting them down on paper isn’t happening.

That time you sit and write, only to read back a load of absolute rubbish, which you delete anyway, because lets face it, it doesn’t make sense to anyone, not even you!

That time you sit to write, only to find that even though you have lots of words floating around in your head, they refuse to be plucked out of your mind and be restrained into paper format. It’s as if they’re saying “bitch, if you take one step closer I will stab you with this rusty fork!” and so you leave it be, because who wants to be stabbed by a rusty fork. No thank you.

So today will mostly be working on, talking down my words with the skills of a trained hostage negotiator, in the hope that I can produce some words and not be stabbed by a rusty fork, and begging my muse to come back from her holidays!





Creativity Wanted

I have often made up stories in my head, stories about faeries, witches, demons, vampires. It may come as no surprise to people that my favourite genre to read is the supernatural and preternatural genre. Whether it be paranormal romance, thriller, or horror, if it has werewolves, were-animals, vampires, faeries etc in it, then most likely I will read it.

Sometimes however when trying to take these ideas I have and put them to paper, or word document as the case sometimes is, the idea just disappears. It seems my muse of creativity and writing just gets up and wanders off. How I would love to be an established author. But I realise that becoming an established author doesn’t come easy (for most people anyway).

In an attempt to get my creative juices flowing, I decided to write some short stories, that will, hopefully, develop into something more. Like perhaps a book. Or a series of books, maybe, maybe not. In my attempt to get the juices flowing, I thought I’d find a writing challenge generator, and over to my friend Google, I searched. I found Seventh Sanctum. I got some ideas, but others just made me laugh. They most certainly are a “challenge”. Here are a few of my favourite ones.

· The story takes place in the late evening. A character will have their hair cut, but the action is misinterpreted.

· The story must have a theologian in it. The story must have dust appear in the middle.
· The story must have a fish in it.
· A character dyes their hair, but the action is misinterpreted. The story is set in a desecrated temple. During the story, there is an assassination.
· During the story, there is a dramatic discovery. The story must have a barracuda at the beginning.

I’m not entirely sure, what my attempt at writing will produce, but I can’t imagine it. Maybe I’m not trying hard enough. Perhaps I’ll try to write something with the above ideas and see what happens.

I’m going to open this up to my readers, can you come up with a short story featuring some (if not all) of the above challenges? I am considering a prize for the best story, so stay tuned and get writing!

Twenty, twenty, twenty four hours ago, I wanna be sedated.

Back in 2005 I had my top 2 wisdom teeth removed whilst under sedation. I went to the hospital, they inserted a cannula into the back of my right hand, flushed some saline through and then let the drugs seep into my vein. It was icy cold and I began to feel woozy and so damn relaxed.

About 5 minutes later I was sitting in a chair with my mouth stuffed with cotton wool and feeling like I could sleep for ages.
The dentist said to me “how long do you think it’s been?”
I replied “afouff fen fiffutes?”
The dentist laughed and came back with “more like an hour and ten minutes”

I lost an hour under sedation! It was like the Hang Over but with no imitated tiger fucking, no stripper wedding, no crazy chinese drug dealers and no sunburnt groom on a roof. At least I don’t think so anyway. The only similarity was the missing teeth!

It was immense. Felt great but with a side effect of having not a clue! Slowly a few things came back to me, like they had a problem removing one of the teeth and it took 2 people to yank it out.

I always said that I’d never use drugs recreationally, but i would totally hit up some sedatives for the immense feeling! (it’s unlikely that I’d ever be able to though, sedation drugs aren’t on supermarket shelves and I sure ad hell don’t know any unsavoury characters!)

Fast forward to last April this year when I had the bottom 2 wisdom teeth removed. I was actually looking forward to it! Until the dental surgeon took one look in my mouth and said “they’re coming out under a general anaesthetic”

Now that is a whole different ball game and not nearly as much fun!

I know which one I’d do again if I had any more wisdom teeth that needed yanking!

Fast forward from April to last week. My best friend calls me and starts asking me what to expect as she’s having a wisdom tooth out under sedation. I didn’t lie one little bit. In fact I think my actual words were “don’t worry, you’ll love it”. Not exactly 5 words you would normally associate with dental surgery.

Together my best friend and myself have a great time which is often just long periods of laughter. No one makes me laugh as much as she does.

I said to her today (she has her tooth out this evening) “Kare, you know what would be fun?”
She started to laugh, her best friend sixth sense kicking in.

“if we both got sedated and filmed the resulting carnage. Not the amount they normally use mind you, just a fraction of that. I think the hit would be immense and the video of our antics after would be fucking hilarious”
I said all this in a serious voice whilst she pretty much laughed hysterically the more I talked.

We both laughed for a while at the thought of it, whilst her mother laughed in the background, then both agreed it was unlikely to ever happen.

Guess our next antics will only arrive once we’ve broken out the wine.