Moved!

Well, we’ve moved.
We haven’t finished unpacking…. But we have moved.
We have 1 and 3/4 rooms out of 5 fully completed.

The bathroom is done.
Emma’s room, almost done.
The kitchen, mostly done.
The living room, almost done.
Our bedroom, has become the dumping ground for boxes, bags and miscellaneous items from the move.

The good thing is that our new home, already feels like home. There’s so much I want to do, which takes time and money. I have all to much of one and hardly any of the other, and it’ll be a while before the balance of that equation is restored.

The bathroom is the only room that is 100% done. The only issue? No working lock. The locks there, it’s just pointless. This doesn’t propose a problem for us, until we have a house full of guests.

So we came up with the notice board.
We were initially going to get a sign that simply flipped over, so when someone was in the bathroom then they could flip the sign to say In Use/Occupied/Unavailable or whatever else comes on signs these days.
But then The Husband had a better idea.

So now we have a whiteboard up. When you go in, you have an option to write a message. ANY message.

I’m hoping for some absolute brilliant messages.

So far, we’ve had these;
Notice

Inappropriate Laughing

Do you ever get moments where you cannot stop laughing at something that it’s pretty much, completely and totally inappropriate?

Almost like when you’re in an assembly at school, or, a church service, and something happens and you have to force yourself not to laugh, but it becomes so difficult that it’s even funnier and the circle of vicious inappropriate laughing gets out of control?

A bit like when you’re in a yoga class for the first time, and everyone is serious, and doing their downward dogs or rising cats or whatever, and someone let’s out a squeaky fart, and it’s deathly quiet whilst the yoga instructor is all “remember to concentrate on your breathing” and you just want to laugh because, someone FARTED, but you can’t laugh because everyone’s being so serious.

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Well that happened today, sort of, except I was on my own, and a friend text to say her mum was made redundant, and I was like “OMG.” Thinking that my friends mother had passed away suddenly, then realised that no one would use the term redundant to say a loved one had died, and that they probably just meant, redundant from their job. Then I laughed.
And it just seemed even more ridiculous and absurd, so I couldn’t stop laughing.
Not just ridiculous and absurd, but also weird, because I’m on my own, and laughing to myself, like some sort of lunatic on drugs with an imaginary comedian friend.

But at-least my friends mother didn’t suddenly die. Hope she finds a new job soon though.

22

I follow a fair few blogger sites across various Social Media Platforms.
Recently I came across a post about Being More Funny, and injecting some humour into your posts. Why? Well, because I was surfing the web and I came across it.

But, seriously.

Why?

Because it’s fun to make others laugh and it’s fun to laugh too!

The post was by Susan Maccarelli on BlogHer. Susan also writes at Pecked to Death by Chickens.

I am not a deliberately funny person. But I thought I’d give it a go. The prompts anyway. The funny will be a work in progress!

There are a few that I probably won’t do.
Like, #5 If __________ were Kardashians. Because. You know. Kardashians…. I mainly haven’t a clue who most of them are!

And #15 The Story of how you lost your temper. Because it would be story after story and it gets boring after a while.

Then there’s #16 Kids Quotes.
Emma is one. The funniest thing she’s ever done is say to the ringing phone/doorbells “who’s dat?!”. A very short post indeed!

But some of the rest I will definitely have a crack at.

#3 What’s in your bag. A photo blog!
#4 Weirdest things you’ve found on your person.
#8 Giving birth saga – especially apt as Emma’s 1st birthday draws near and I still haven’t shared my birth story. Part of it may have to be a video clip. Although it could potentially be construed as offensive? So maybe not!
#22 A list of rules for your children to follow in public places, because education is important to young minds!

The creative juices are flowing!
Stay Tuned!!

PUSH!!!

Last night my cousin (see also best friend/sister from another mother) went into hospital. Hopefully in a few hours time a child will wrestle its way out of her nether regions into the world, all pink and crying, demanding to bed fed, clothed and cuddled.

I wish I was there. Mainly because I never got to meet my god-son (her 1st born) until he was 3 months old and my god-daughter, who knows when I’ll get to meet her. You see my cousin lives almost 6000 miles away from me. I live in London and she lives in Grand Cayman. The airfare is stupidly expensive.

Most of today we have been conversing on Facebook. She is currently on her own, as nothing is really happening, so everyone has gone to work as normal. The whole story about your second baby coming quicker than your first is apparently a lot of newborn liquidy poop. This baby is taking a long time. In fact I’m pretty sure she is hanging in there, arms and legs splayed against the sides of the womb screaming “I won’t come out! I won’t! You can’t make me!”

The last update I had was that she was in a lot of pain, only 2cm dilated and her waters still hadn’t broken. Her ObGyn is currently performing a caesarean and once he’s done that he will come back and break her waters (if they hadn’t gone by then).

She is bored. She also has NO pain relief.

If I was her, I would go mad (and be demanding the drugs). Thank god she has her husband’s laptop so that she can work on her Cafe World and her Farm in Farmville. Or watch clips on YouTube of crowning baby heads.

To keep her mind off the labour, myself and our mutual friend (2nd Fairy God-Mother) Kim have been trying to keep her occupied. We’ve come up with a few things.

1) Tell Jokes – jokes make you laugh and be happy, they can take your mind off the pain. Unless you don’t get them. Then you’ll just be in pain and confused.
2) Share the drugs. I don’t mean like “dude, pass the joint, dude” more like “want to have some gas and air *giggle*” With gas and air the possibilities are endless and could provide a lot of entertainment for the mother-to-be. Just don’t let the nurses or doctors catch you!
3) Giant Pilates Balls – these could be great fun. Play football. Or bowling. Or, if there are 2 balls, get some duct tape, tape yourselves to the balls and have a race down the corridor. However if the mother-to-be is going to sit on it, make sure you support her. I’d imagine having a small child wrestle its way out of your nether regions whilst nursing a fractured pelvis/spine is rather painful.
4) Interpretive Birth Dancing – pretend you’re a baby. Lie of the floor, wiggle around and pretend that you are travelling through the birth canal. One of you can be the mid-wife/nurse/stork.
5) Go on a treasure hunt. Do not however take someone else’s baby. That’s illegal and you will be arrested. Staplers and chairs are ok. Do a points system, the bigger the item, the more points you get. Remember, don’t take any babies.
6) Go the viewing gallery, look at all the new babies. Give them all nicknames and goals in life. Write it up on a tissue and deliver your ideas to the parents. Add them on Facebook so that you can check how their kids are doing with their goals in 18 years time.
Hopefully baby Isabella will make an appearance soon, or at least if she decides to take a lot longer (girls are fashionably late you know) then the ObGyn and Nurses provide some drugs.