Sleep?! Hah!

Over the last few weeks of pregnancy SO many people said to me “get LOTS of sleep, you’re going to need it!” Or “catch up on your rest!”

Having been a mother for 5 days now, I get why they tell you that. Between feeding, changing, holding, rocking, comforting, feeding, bathing, expressing milk, eating your own food, and washing yourself, well, there’s not room for sleep.

In fact this week most times I’ve chosen to sleep (or try to!) over having a shower. Thank god I am not a sweaty person! Going forward, sleep wins every time!

One thing I will NOT say to another pregnant woman is that whole “make sure you get lots of sleep” bollocks. Lets face it, it’s complete bollocks.
You spend the last 4 weeks napping, catching up on this sleep business and then wham! the baby arrives and sleep goes out the window.

Essentially you’ve got your body used to plenty of sleep and then you tell your body “sorry, no can do now, you’ve got to stay awake and rock this screaming newborn and try not to notice that projectile poop has flown across the room thus ruining your chances of getting your rental deposit back” and your body? Well let’s just say it gets pissed off.

It’s like giving a fat kid as much cake as he can eat and then taking it away, putting it just out of his reach and saying “you can’t have that”. All the while he can see it and smell it, just not actually get any of it.

So, pregnant ladies, don’t bother “catching up your sleep”. We don’t have a sleep bank where we store sleep and draw from reserves. We are not in a sci-fi novel. Instead, set your alarm to wake you every 3 hours through the night (best if your phone has a screaming baby sounds in the alerts sections) and during the day carry on as normal, leaving out any naps.

That’s probably some of the best advice I can offer to help prepare you for the arrival of your newborn.

However if you’re one of the “lucky” ones who has a baby that sleeps a lot in the night, then well, sorry I made you wake up every 3 hours during the last 4 weeks and have in fact screwed over your internal clock. My bad.

Breast feeding : strictly over 18s only!!

On Tuesday we went to our antenatal class, run by our midwives. The talk turned to breast feeding your new baby and she told us about this lovely video on YouTube where a newborn baby, about an hour old shuffles over to its mothers breast to feed. On its own. (Minimal help from mama)

Her point was that new babies aren’t as helpless as people believe. Put them on your chest and within 35 – 60 minutes they will have located your boob and start to try to get to it so they can feed.

The video is sweet and around the 3 minute mark I did laugh, little grunty sounds from babies are cute!!

So I sent it to a pregnant friend of mine using WhatsApp. She is due about 10 days before I am. Quite pleased with myself for sharing, I was a bit stunned when she responded with “what dodgy video have you sent me to watch?! Lol”

Dodgy?!

I quickly typed back “it’s a Breast feeding video my MW told me about!”

It turns out that YouTube gives you this warning when you try to view the video on a mobile device.

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Say what YouTube?!? Are you for real?!

(Spoilers)

It’s a one hour old baby and a nipple. Baby moves to nipple and begins to latch on and feed! Why do you have to be over 18 to watch it?!

Breast feeding is natural. It is not sexual, it is not some kind of pornography. It’s a mother feeding her baby!

Whilst I appreciate not everyone is on the Breast feeding “bandwagon”, I actively searched for this link to watch it, so I know roughly what to expect. I didn’t expect to be told I had to confirm I was over 18!

(I did get this notice, but I just clicked passed it without paying any attention to it…..oops!)

YouTube, it’s not like I searched “skinny man banging a big boobied lady”, that I could understand carrying an Over 18 warning label. Besides, doesn’t your T&Cs prohibit videos of a sexual nature?! So I’d not expect to find sexually explicit videos on your site. (Not that I’m looking mind you!)

To those who flagged this as “inappropriate” – SHAME ON YOU!

But a Breast feeding baby? Come on now!!

Here’s the video