First Morning Phone

Most people, a soon as they wake, check their phones, they check Twitter/Facebook/Email/Texts etc, and well, I do this, and so does The Husband.

We all know children do as children see, and Emma, will always go for our phones the moment she’s awake and in our bed. It’s probably not for the same reason as grown ups/teenagers, but maybe it is, shiny noisy item that you can play with. Ok. So it probably is the same reason.

So I had to share this video.

Parenthood, Friendships and Socialising

It’s funny. When you’re pregnant and then when you become a mother, you discover who your friends really are.

There’s that saying, “good friends are those who you don’t see regularly but when you do see them you can pick up and carry on as if no time has been spent apart”

The moment you tell people you are pregnant, there’s a hubbub of congratulations and excitement. Then people seem to think you’re fragile and things change.

Beforehand you’d get invited to nights out. Weekends away. Dinners in semi-fancy restaurants.

Then it stops.

It’s as if being pregnant means you’re no longer allowed to do such things.

Instead whilst your friends go out and have fun, not inviting you (mainly because they assume you won’t want to go, they assume you’re feeling sick or tired) you troll Internet pregnancy and parenting boards looking for people in the same situation as you so that you can bond.

So for almost 9 months, you slowly begin to lose touch with those friends.
You see Facebook statuses, tweets, photos of their “adventures”. You wonder why you weren’t invited. You feel a bit upset, hormones are raging, you have a cry and then you feel angry. Then? You stop caring. At least for a little while.

Then d-day comes and you have your baby. You make your birth announcement and all of a sudden everyone comes out of the woodwork.

You get lots of congratulations and excitement, lots of messages asking when people can come and visit. People wanting to come and hold your new baby.

The same people who only weeks/months before simply stopped involving you in their social life/circles. Who only rarely sent you a message to see how you were. Who very rarely responded to your messages.

The first few weeks of having your new baby is a flurry of visitors. People invite themselves to your home for new baby cuddles. Then it tails off again. As the weeks go by, you get less visitors, less messages, less phone calls.

These same people carry on with their lives. You carry on with yours, getting to grips with a new baby.

Again, you don’t get invites to go to the pub, out for a meal. Instead you see photos from nights out, Facebook statuses, tweets.

When you jokingly say “where was my invite then?” People uhm and ahh, unsure of what to say and then finally come out with “I didn’t think you be able to because of the baby”.

You don’t get invited because people assume you are too tired/ can’t go because you have a baby now/ don’t want to go.

As if having a baby, being a mother means that you can now no longer attend social functions. As if being a mother suddenly means you are no longer an actual person. With feelings.

Well, here’s the low down, from a new mama.

It hurts.

Just because I am now someone’s mother and have the responsibility for a child, doesn’t mean I am not a person, who on occasion needs some adult conversation, interaction and occasionally a glass of wine!

Don’t stop inviting me out because you think I can’t/don’t want to go. Don’t assume. You know, your assumption may be correct. I may be too tired and not want to go. I may not have a baby sitter and so cannot go. But I’d like to be asked. To be invited, instead of feeling excluded.

Remember that. Remember to continue to treat your friend like a friend after she announces her pregnancy and has a baby. Otherwise you may find that one day she won’t be your friend anymore.
Eventually she will stop trying, will decide to stop asking herself what she did to be treated the way she was, and she will just walk away.

Social Media Pregnancy

Today a conversation was brought up on my online pregnancy support group.

How would you react if a friend or family member announced the birth of your child on Facebook/Twitter before you did. Likewise with posting a photo.

Now, it’s clear from my blog, Facebook page and Twitter account that I am very active online. I blog about my pregnancy, I tweet about the kickboxing Flump has taken up and my husband and I have posted photos of our scans on Facebook. So it’s probably obvious then when Flump makes his or her arrival in March that we will make some sort of announcement online with photos. In fact it wouldn’t surprise me if I tweet or my husband tweets during my labour and if my sister in law and I post stupid photos during the labour. For obvious reasons I won’t be tweeting or face-booking during the delivery, I’ve heard that pushing a baby out of your vagina takes rather a lot of concentration and I know that I am multi-skilled, but that’s taking it a bit far.

However, a kind note to close friends and family. You will find out from us via a phone call or text message, rather than via Facebook or Twitter. (Now is the chance to ensure Daniel or I have the correct contact details for you)

Once we have told close friends and family, then we will make an online announcement.

God forbid anyone announce our child’s birth before us or post a photo before we do, because I will go nutso on you.

So tell me blogosphere, what’s your opinion on this question?

How would you react if someone posted details of the birth of your child or a photo of your new baby online before you did?

How to burn bridges and alienate bloggers

I am 27. The content on this blog consists of my own experiences, my own words and my own work. Occasionally I will post a cartoon, or photo, that clearly I did not draw (because I can’t even draw stick men….) or take, but I follow the rules. I link back where possible and I ask for permission.

I don’t have a huge following. I am not an expert writer, or expert blogger, hell I’m not even a professional blogger. I blog for shits and giggles (please, seriously, don’t send me any shits, I am however happy to accept giggles, unless giggles is some strange weird euphemism for some sort of sex position/game, then thanks, but no thanks).

I am not an activist (normally), I am not a humourist (generally), I’m just a “regular” “normal” 27-year-old woman (28 in 11 days time) living in London (check the about me section).

Today the blogosphere exploded on Twitter.

Why? Plagiarism.

You can read about it here.

If you’re too lazy to click the link and read, then basically the gist of it is this headline from BethAvant over at ShePosts.com “Babble Blogger Kristin Ruiz Outed for Plagiarizing Amalah’s Posts”. Kristin Ruiz of Our Ordinary Life was found to have plagiarised posts from Amy over at Amalah.com. The resulting action? Bloggers from across the USA, Canada and Europe hit the roof.

Lifting content from somewhere else is a BIG no no. Unless you have permission from the blogger (preferably written permission) and you state your source or link back to the ORIGINAL post, then DO NOT remove any content from another bloggers site, no exceptions, no excuses.

It seems that Kristin stated that she didn’t mean to do anything wrong and kept stating that she was young, only 27 years old.

I am 27 years old. I can’t understand how someone who is 27 years old doesn’t understand that taking someone elses work and passing it off as your own is wrong.

When you start school and you’re given homework and tests and what not, you are told not to copy others work. When you do exams in Middle School or High School if you get caught copying someone elses answers then you FAIL. We are taught from a young age that copying someone elses work is NOT ok. When you go to college or university your essays are scrutinised to ensure you have not plagiarised them. Time and time again, whilst growing up, it was drummed into me that you don’t copy someone elses work. Copying was wrong. I cannot understand how someone who is the same age as me doesn’t understand this concept. I know that school systems across the world are different, but COME ON, they can’t be that different when it comes to stuff like this.

BethAvant from Sheposts.com gives a few suggestions, which you can read in her post which is linked above. Make a point of reading her suggestions, they will be invaluable to you as a blogger.

Take heed people. If you want to be taken seriously as a blogger, or get paid to blog, then follow the rules. Work hard and earn respect by creating your own content, using your own words and try not to piss off the entire blogosphere. Once you piss off the blogosphere then you’re done. Do not pass GO, do not collect your £200.

Always think before hitting that “Publish” button and be prepared to admit you’re wrong and apologise when you are in fact, wrong.

Your actions will have consequences, don’t forget that.