Plotting Against Me

Freaking. Out.

Went to the kitchen sink this morning, tipped the water out of the washing up bowl and accidentally killed a massive spider that had taken up residence.

Freaked out. A LOT.

Checked again, definitely dead, or at least mostly dead on account of being drowned.

Freaked out some more. Texted husband to tell him I’m not doing any washing up today on account on the massive dead spider of accidentally murdered.

Update Facebook, because that’s what you do in a spider related crisis.

Get told by friend that spider should just go down the plug hole if flushed with lots of water.

Don’t see how… Spider much to big for plug hole.

Get teased by father in law about turning dead spider into curry.

Spray a load of bleach around the sink. Flush with more hot water.
Gingerly lift up washing up bowl.

Spider is gone.

It was too big to go down the plug, so where the hell has it gone?

It’s obviously crawled out of the sink, horrendously disfigured and disabled now, covered in burns, and calling to it’s mates to come back for revenge.

I’m going to be attacked by spiders now.
I’m going to die aren’t I.

They’re all sat plotting against me.


operation spider

I am absolutely petrified of spiders, it’s not a rational fear, because lets face it, what exactly can it do to me, considering I could just end it’s life in a stomp, quite literally. Like most fears, this was a fear I learnt and I know exactly what triggered it. Watching a film.

My fear began when I was approximately 13 years old.  I’d decided to watch a film with my mothers step-brother who is 3 years older than me. His bright idea, not mine. Since that film I have been scared shitless of the little beasts.  Even writing this makes me quake in fear because I can picture the little bastards in my minds eye. *Shudder*

So yesterday evening, I was climbing up the stairs to my apartment, when I looked up (on the second flight of stairs) and there in front of me was a HUGE spider. I managed not to scream, scooted past it and ran up the last set of stairs into the apartment where I promptly garbled some nonsense to my husband that was supposed to sound like “there’s a huge spider on the wall outside, can you go and kill it?!”

Turns out that my husband couldn’t bring himself to kill it (I think it was because he too was scared of it) and instead he got the insect repellent and started spraying it.

At this point our next door neighbour came out of her apartment and my husband said there was a spider, she was brave enough to look and also exclaimed that it was huge and that she too was scared of spiders. Luckily some of her family were bringing her daughter home, and quickly came to the rescue by stomping on it and the two dogs with them made sure it was definitely gone.

Needless to say, it seems no one on the top floor of our building likes spiders, and instead we all acted like big girls blouses.