looking back

The Husband and I have been married for 3 years and almost 3 months. Flump is due in 15 weeks and lately I’ve been thinking that I want to put together a photo album for Flump. We’ve already got a wedding book and a “1st year” book, and we’ve started a baby book, but I really want to do a Before, During and Babies first photos book.  I thought I’d could start of with some pictures of the Husband and I before we got married, pictures of our wedding, photos of the scans, bump photos, and well, you get the gist of where I’m going with this right?

So this evening I spent some time looking through old photos, and I was looking at some of our wedding photos on the Husbands Flickr account, and a few stood out at me. Mainly because they’re rather hilarious.


The first one is a shot taken by the photographer of my Sister in law who was a bridesmaids and a friend who was one of the groomsmen. Every other bridesmaids and groomsman held on to each other until the end, not these two though. they both let go of each other as soon as they could. I don’t know why it makes me giggle, but it does.

bridesmaid and groomsman



Normally I love to be the centre of attention. Not at my own wedding apparently. I don’t think I could look anymore like a awkward douche really.

here comes the most awkwardest looking bride.



See the guy to the right of me? the one with the white rose in his lapel? That is my dad. Smug dad is smirking. It’s as if he’s saying, “ha! one down 3 more to get rid off! my job here is done”

smug dad is smug



Yeah, we didn’t write our own vows, we simply just took a few options from the venue’s guide and went with those. Despite the whole “repeat after me” section, I still managed to fuck them up, and in the process confuse the registrar and causing the whole lot to be restarted.

the one where i fuck up my vows



So, we’re all married and the Husband is all “right, what now?”. This photo cracks me up every time I see it.

what the fuck do I do now?!?



The photographer thought it’d be great to get all the groomsmen and Chris (who did a reading at the wedding) together for a photo opp. Personally i think this is the best photo ever. It’s like a boy band had a photo shoot and royally failed. From left to right, the Husband, the Best Man, Chris, Tilly-boy, Tom and Drew.  If the Husband opened his eyes any wider his eyeballs would fall out, Tilly-boy just looks mighty camp and Tom, well, god knows what kind of look he was going for?!?

boy band photo shoot, album cover fail.



I think Flump is going to get a kick out of all these photos when he/she is older. Poor kid.

Four Weddings Mrs Flams style

This September, the husband and I will have been married for 3 years.  Our wedding was amazing (for us) and all our guests enjoyed themselves immensely. Over the last year I have watched a fair few episodes of Four Weddings. Bitching Brides, Bizarre and Beautiful venues, some great food and some absolutely AWFUL food.  After a while I started recording it on the Sky+ box, so that I can fast-forwarded through all the crap and rubbish bits (and of course the commercial breaks!).








Then? Then, I came across Four Weddings US. The US version, is SO SO much better than the UK version, even if some of the brides have more money than sense. The Brides are less bitchy, the venues (mostly) are much nicer, and the food is mainly amazing and so there is SO MUCH OF IT.








In the UK, a wedding usually consists of, Ceremony, Meal, Disco, Buffet. In that order. In the US, it’s Ceremony, Cocktail Hour (with Open bar), Meal, Disco, Buffet.

After watching considerable amounts of Four Weddings US, I have decided that I want to have another wedding, however my husband has said no.  Seeing as I’m not allowed to have another wedding, instead, I’m going to lay it all our here. Not that we would EVER be able to afford such an affair anyway! We would invite EVERYONE. The dress code would, of course, be Black Tie.

First there is the Ceremony. Short, Sweet and Simple. 30 minutes tops. Fabulous Dress. 6 Bridesmaids, 2 Flower girls, 1 Ring bearer, 1 Best Man and 5 Ushers. The person conducting the ceremony would be professional but funny. Everyone would cry.

Then Guests would make their way to a fantastic Hotel Ballroom, with sweeping City views, for Cocktail Hour, with an open bar.

There would be waiters in waistcoats taking round glasses of champagne, a signature cocktail, and canapes. The canapes would consist of miniature prawn cocktails in shot glasses, smoked salmon and cream cheese Bellini, Caviar, vol-a-vents, and miniature vegetable tarts.  There would also be hot food buffet stands serving warm dishes such as pastas and warm vegetables, as well as tables covered with cheeses and crackers, fresh fruit and miniature cakes. At cocktail hour there would be a photo booth, and guests would get the chance to sign the guestbook.



After cocktail hour, guests would make their way into a second ball room, also with sweeping city views, the sun would be setting. The tables would be tastefully decorated, and speeches would be made. After speeches from the Father of the Bride, the Groom, the Best Man and the Maid of Honour, dinner would be served, whilst a small string quartet played music.

A six course meal (really it’s 4, but you’ve got to have palate cleansers between courses right?) Each course would be small and elegant, with guest having a choice of 5 options per course and 3 options per palate cleanser.

Starters – Melon with Parma Ham and a balsamic glaze and mint garnish;

a seafood selection with prawns, smoked salmon, calamari and mussels;

a pâté with a balsamic onion marmalade and brioche toast;

asparagus spears with a poached egg and hollandaise sauce;

a red pepper and tomato soup served with crusty wholemeal bread and butter.
Palate Cleanser – Champagne Sorbet, Lemon Sorbet or Mint and Lime Sorbet.


Mains – Fillet Steak with a choice of sauce and fresh seasonal vegetables;

Pan Seared Cod on a bed of crushed new potatoes and minted peas;

Breast of Chicken stuffed with sun-dried tomatoes and black olives with a dressed green been salad;

Grilled vegetable tart with a rocket salad;

Lobster thermidor with a fresh spinach salad.




Palate Cleanser – Champagne Sorbet, Lemon Sorbet or Mint and Lime Sorbet.

Desserts – crème brûlée with fresh raspberries;

a selection of cheeses with crackers, grapes and quince;

Lemon Tart with fresh raspberries;

a marscapone and fresh strawberry cheesecake;

a chocolate fondant with vanilla ice-cream.



Selection of chocolates and fresh coffees and teas.

Finally guests would make their way to the first ballroom, where a live band would play classic Rat Pack and Divas of Jazz. There would be waiters walking round with trays of champagne and the signature cocktail. Then the DJ would play music for everyone to boogy-down into the night to.

A finger buffet would be served with tiny sandwiches, miniature tarts and fresh fruit and cheeses.



Personally, you wouldn’t even need a wedding to pull off a feast / party like this. Hmmmmm. My 30th birthday is in 18 months. Think I’ve just set in place a great plan.  Now all I need is £45,000.

Anyone care to lend me £45,000, ok, ok, give it to me, because lets face it, it’s highly unlikely that I’d be able to pay you back!

New Year Greetings

So 2011 is over and 2012 has begun.
Its going to be a busy year for me!

The Olympics is in 208 days, and as most of you know, I’m involved. I’m part of a team that has to ensure part of Londons transport network is robust and efficient. It’s exciting and busy and going to be very hard work!

This year I’m helping to organise an 18th birthday party AND doing the catering for 70 people!

Then it’s my own birthday, which I get stupidly excited about.

This year I also have a family holiday to go on (the first in 12 years!) and a wedding to attend.

My lovely brother-in-law is getting married to the wonderful Tash in August and I’m the make up artist for the bridal party! No pressure!!

It’s my 3rd wedding anniversary this September.

After September I don’t know quite what I’ll do job wise or life wise actually, so watch this space!!

Wishing you all a healthy, happy and prosperous New Year!!


So yesterday was a pretty eventful day. I woke up with a cold sore. It’s a combination of “feel good” and “attractive”. Cold sores are the new black. For reals.

My sarcastic streak is on top form today. It’s like it had extra caffeine with breakfast this morning! Except it’s after midnight and I’ve not had any coffee yet. Perhaps it’s cranky.

Yesterday evening my brother-in-law Alan asked his long term girlfriend to marry him. To be fair, it’s about time. We’d all been saying they should get married for ages now, so often that I even created a Facebook page called “Alan should TOTALLY marry Tash”
Anyway, so they’re engaged and I couldn’t be any happier for them (unless of course there’s also a baby on the way, cause that’d just be freaking awesome).

So they’re getting married!!!! I wish them all the happiness in the world and can’t wait to celebrate their big day!

After that excitement, the hubs and I settled down with some tv. The hubs put on a new series of 24.

Between the excitement of the engagement and the suspense of tonight’s viewing, I’m fully wired.

Hubs is fast asleep. I’m laying in bed, writing a post and wishing I didn’t have a stupid cold sore and also wishing that our bed was a king size rather than a double.

Hopefully sleep will claim me soon and I won’t fall off the edge of the bed where I’m perched.

The Pact

This morning I remember a teenaged pact I made when I was 16 with my best friend. We both made a pact that if we were both unmarried at 40 then we’d marry each other, because lets face it, gay marriage should be legal by then.

Fast forward 11 years and it’s likely our pact won’t ever need to be fulfilled. I’m married and she’s in a long term committed relationship that will most likely end in marriage.

However, at 16, I thought it’d take a long time for the government to allow same sex marriages. In many cases same sex marriage is legal and has been for quite some time. In other places not so much, and that’s a real shame.

People who love each other should be allowed to marry regardless of who they love or their sexuality. I for one fully support same sex marriages and believe everyone should be allowed the chance to marry whoever they like.

This week it was announced that Kim Kardashian was divorcing her husband of only 72 days. Her multi-million dollar wedding covered 2 tv shows and countless newspapers and magazines. what a shame that some people can throw a lavish wedding ceremony only to have their marriage dissolve in less than 3 months. Yet same sex couples who have been together for years on end aren’t allowed to marry.

Maybe that will have changed by the time I’m 40, if not hopefully before then. In the meantime keep campaigning. It will happen. One day.

One Fish, Two Fish, Three Fish, Four

So we’re in St Ives in Cornwall this weekend for a wedding. The weather is just amazing! In the mid twenties, sunny and it’s October!
When in St Ives, or at any seaside town you can’t go without having had Fish and Chips at least once.
Now as many of you know, I don’t do seafood. I’ll eat battered fish, or breaded shrimp etc, but that is it.

Today Flams and I paddled at the beach, then went to a little cafe called Gourmet Fish and Chips. I had grilled fish. Me! Grilled Fish! And. Wait for it. A battered scallop (I didn’t like) but still, I tried it. This is huge.

I like grilled fish. So much I surprised Flams that we’d be having at home on a regular basis.

Go me!